Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Being Poly Rocks

You know, life doesn't have to be all about amazing orgasms and being fucked all night long (although, honestly, that sounds pretty good right now!). Sometimes it's the little things that can really make you happy. I mentioned in an earlier post that Mark met John at last month's BDSM munch and they got along okay, although I doubt they will ever be friends. It's good enough to just be able to relax and hang out together.

So tonight, John and his sister and her husband came over, and the five of us played board games all night. It was just low key, hanging out and having a good time. I really enjoyed sitting between my two men and it felt pretty darn good. I even won one of the games :)

Life has been pretty good lately in general. I slept over at John's house Sunday night after my party and came home Monday afternoon and attacked Mark. I always get crazy horny after a good scene, and we had some pretty fantastic sex. I need to play more often, life gets better on all fronts!

I also had a really funny conversation with Chris that I figured deserved to be recorded for posterity. We were IM'ing, and he was telling me about a course he's taking this month where he has to read an 850 page textbook in six weeks. I am a speed reader, so I said that while I wouldn't enjoy that, I could probably knock it back in about nine hours. He told me that I'm sick, but he means that in the nicest possible way. I burst out laughing and said, "Wow. I can have a conversation with you about how I'd like to wrap you up in pallet wrap, put an O ring gag in your mouth, and piss all over you, but talk about reading a textbook and I'm sick???" He replied "About that pallet wrap..." and grinned. It's seriously awesome not only being a sadistic pervert, but having someone who appreciates it :)

Monday, 23 June 2014

Flying High!

Yesterday had some minor disappointments, but what a fantastic party! I got dressed up in a little red and black lace and PVC dress with matching black lace gloves, fishnet pantyhose, and my over the knee 6" stiletto shiny black platform boots. I felt smoking hot :)

I had been looking forward to this party for months, ever since I knew my electric play gear was coming! I worried that it wasn't going to arrive in time but it did make it, fortunately! I had been imagining using these toys for quite some time, and since there is only one manufacturer in the world who makes this stuff, I knew it would cause a bit of a stir!

John came to the party, but after about half an hour of socializing he told me he really wasn't feeling well and didn't think he was up to playing. I was disappointed, since he and I have such a good rapport when we play together and I had really wanted to have that kind of intense scene with him. But, shit happens, after all! So he went home, and I decided that despite generally not being interested in casual play, that I did still want to try out my new toys since I had been waiting so long to use them!

Another friend of mine, Shannon, was at the party. We'd gone out on a lunch date a month or so ago but hadn't chatted much lately since she'd been busy with her new job. But I remembered she liked electricity, so I asked her if she'd like to play. She was nearly as excited as I was when I showed her my new toys!

So I got to have my scene after all. At first, it was nothing special, just regular violet wand stuff that people have seen before, although electricity is pretty cool. Then I started to attach the electrical cups to her, and people thought I was just doing some vacuum cups in the middle of my scene. They didn't realize what was going on until I hooked a metal electrode into my wand and started shocking the cups! They lit up so beautifully that I'm going to have to get pictures at some point, because they looked fantastic. And Shannon was such a great bottom- lots of little squeals and wiggles. I really enjoyed playing with her! After the cups, I brought out some metal toys and shocked the edges of the marks the cups had left on her. I love leaving marks :) And of course, those areas are more sensitive to be played with after being cupped and shocked!

I heard afterwards that people were coming into the other room and telling people what I was up to and they should come see, so apparently I caused a bit of a buzz! I've already had two requests to play with them, and Shannon has indicated a desire to play again, which I am definitely up for. I'm feeling really good about this. I guess I feel like I've finally found my place in the local BDSM community, if that makes sense. I had a very experienced Dom mention he had a sub he'd like to send my way for some electrical play, and I took that as a very high compliment. It means that he respects my ability and thinks that I'm a safe practictioner (insofar as what I do is edge play, of course). And that's really a cool thing, and it matters to me. It feels really, really good to be respected for who I am and what I can do.

Oh, it was a good time. I wish I could have done it with John, but perhaps again in the future. Either way, I'm still pretty high from the scene and I can't wait to use my toys again!

Friday, 20 June 2014


I crossed the border yesterday to pick up the awesome new BDSM toys Mark bought me. I am ridiculously excited to get to use them! I am not sure that I wrote about them before, but they are some pretty exotic electrical play toys. I'm going to be doing a scene with John at a party on Sunday and I can't wait to try them out!

It was a pretty good day in addition to that. I love casinos, and my friend and I spent the afternoon playing various games and came home with a few more bucks in our pockets which was pretty awesome. I love to just hang out and relax and enjoy the lights and sounds at the casino. Free drinks doesn't hurt either!

After we got home, I stopped by to leave my new toys and to pick up an overnight bag, kissed Mark goodnight and headed over to spend the night at John's. It was so nice to use his hot tub again that I joked that I am actually dating the hot tub and not John :) It was so sweet- I keep a few things at his house, and when I came out of the hot tub, he had my bathrobe warm coming out of the dryer. He got brownie points for that! We had a quiet evening but it was so good. Lots of kisses and cuddles... his hands giving me a sensual massage while we relaxed and watched a movie. I love to be touched so it was SO good. And it's always good to be appreciated. He kept telling me how he had missed me, and how beautiful I am, and that would make anyone happy! I had missed him too, since we haven't seen as much of each other lately for various reasons.

So I can't wait to play with him on Sunday... he's such a fantastic play partner and I have such cool stuff to use. I think we're going to put on an awesome show.

Friday, 13 June 2014

Newer Isn't Always Better

I was surprised to see, looking back through my calendar, that it had been a really long while since Adam and I had been able to get together. He is actually my first extramarital sexual partner since we decided to continue in the lifestyle, so I've got a little bit of sentimentality there. There's no emotional connection, but I genuinely like him. We sit and chat and catch up on each other's lives before things start to heat up.

I find it really interesting that my relationships with different men go so many different ways, and not always what I would have anticipated. Clearly, I don't always need an emotional connection with my partners, since I've got a few casual guys that I don't. Sometimes things go in that direction and sometimes it's just a great fuck that keeps me coming back. I like Adam, but we're not really friends. We'll email or text back and forth occasionally but we never get together for anything other than sex. It just works, and that's awesome :)

Since it had been so long, I had wondered if I'd still enjoy him as much as I'd remembered I had in the past. Maybe he wasn't really as skilled as I'd thought? Except that yes, he was :) We kissed and touched for a while before I got to work on his cock. I've never made him cum from a blowjob before, but he says he genuinely can't. And he still loves it, and loves how long I can go down on him. I sucked his cock for nearly half an hour- he made such lovely noises! He told me he'd missed me :)

As soon as his tongue touched my pussy, I knew that I had missed him, too! So many orgasms... that was just what I'd needed. He really knows what I like and he's very good at giving it to me. And when he put on a condom and slid his cock inside me, it just felt so good. He's not as long or as thick as most of my other partners, but he does have that curve that I enjoy so much. A good fuck is always so relaxing.

We both agreed that we won't wait so long for our next get together! Unfortunately, distance can be a bitch. But, he is worth waiting for!

Thursday, 12 June 2014


Well, one thing that I always appreciate in the BDSM lifestyle is that communication is so open and honest. So Greg asked me how I was feeling post date, and I tried to be honest but kind at the same time. I told him that I really enjoy our connection and that I like him very much, but I don't see us developing a D/s relationship. I know that wasn't what he was hoping to hear, and when he asked why I brought up the kink incompatibility and the way we handle play parties. I was not going to crush him by saying the sex wasn't all that appealing to me either!

At any rate, I told him I'd still be happy to hang out sometimes because I do like him. So he's coming with me to a party next week that John isn't able to attend. I am not going to play with him because I just don't think I'd get much out of it, and he goes to parties to be social anyway. I like socializing... but that's why I go to munches, not play parties!

Chris asked me if I was coming to the monthly party in his town this weekend, but unfortunately Mark isn't home so I don't have anyone to watch kiddo. So disappointing. Chris and I always have white hot energy together. Since we don't see each other very often, most of our interaction takes place through IM, but we've been chatting for about a year now. We have a really good foundation and I really like him. Honestly, I don't think I've met anyone else who I find myself so kink-compatible with. It seems like every time I have a fantasy, he shares it. It's just unfortunate that what he really wants is a primary partner (which I'm obviously not available for), that he lives in another city and neither of us drive, and that his work life is ridiculously busy since he's also taking night classes so that even when I could come and see him, he's usually not available. That makes the idea of an actual relationship difficult... but for now, I'm definitely enjoying the play partner aspects at least!

What's funny is that the intensity of the energy that I am missing from my interactions with Greg is exactly what I have with Chris. He and I both agreed tonight that it was something that we felt in our scenes together and that it was something we'd like to pursue further. I told him that I usually keep a tight rein on my D/s behaviour because it tends to get intense for me emotionally so while I have wanted to engage with him like that, I've been letting it go slowly. But it made me really feel good to hear that he's been getting the same thing out of our scenes that I have.

It really is crazy how things go when we talk. We'll say hi, catch up on life, and then one of us will say something and then both of us spiral off into a distracted state and before we know it, it's late! I especially love it when he's in class and I'm sending him dirty pictures of things that I know turn us both on and he's trying to pay attention to the class :) We've really enjoyed talking through some awesome fantasies together and I hope we'll have more time together to do some of it!

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Dashed Expectations

Well, not everything I write here can be positive, unfortunately, much as I'd like it to be. I do try to share a relatively accurate picture of my thoughts and feelings and activities here.

Unfortunately, I think a friend of mine was right and my feelings towards Greg were more about me being lonely since Mark had been gone for so long, I hadn't seen much of John lately (we actually had our first fight, which was awesome because it once again showed me more about his character and really made me respect him more!) and Greg was giving me the kind of attention that I was craving so badly that I was willing to overlook some obvious incompatibilities.

The sad thing is that he's clearly crazy about me and he's still doing all those awesome submissive things that drive me wild. He even had a gift for me when I arrived. He said that normally he doesn't do things like that and I could see he was clearly in his sub headspace when he did it because he apologized for the way the card from Amazon was addressed, and it was indeed inappropriate. He addressed it to my title as a Domme and used wording that implied he was my sub. He asked me to accept the gift in the spirit that it was intended and while I agreed with him that it wasn't appropriate, I did accept it and say thank you. He bought me a pink straight razor and some replacement blades, since he knew I had been wanting one. It was sweet... but it made me feel uncomfortable.

We had a lovely date and I enjoyed his company very much. He took me to a very nice restaurant for dinner and then we went to a baseball game. He got incredible seats and we had a great time together. He was a good conversationalist and a complete gentleman the whole time- carrying my bag to his car when I arrived, offering me his arm when we walked, and holding doors for me. I really appreciate all the little touches like that!

So it makes it all the harder for me to acknowledge that I can't see myself having a relationship with him. I knew he was relatively inexperienced sexually, but as soon as we kissed I knew it wasn't going to be quite what I wanted. And he doesn't have the skill or stamina that I need when licking pussy, and he has issues maintaining an erection to boot. I totally get that it doesn't always work, but he had warned me in advance that it might be an issue and it was. I don't think I can really be interested in a semi LD relationship that doesn't have great sex. Not only that, I am thinking there is a fetish incompatibility. I might even have overlooked the rest to have a play partner in Toronto that I can go to parties and have fun with, since I can stay at his house. But his main fetish doesn't turn me on in the slightest, and he dislikes pain so most of my favorite kinks don't work for him, either. He said that he'd be willing to try... but I don't know. That isn't really what I want, either. I want someone who is into it as much as I am- it makes the energy so much hotter.

It's my own fault for letting things get so involved before the date, but it was hard when it felt so good and I was genuinely enjoying his company. We'd hung out in person before and I was very clear to him all through this that I let things go where they go and I don't make promises that I am not sure I can keep, so he shouldn't have expectations of me, but I know he has hopes. I had to point out several times over the evening that we hadn't negotiated me giving him permission for things or setting the rules, and he said he appreciated that since he wasn't used to it, but I knew he really did want me to take control.

It makes me feel bad because the buildup to our date was really intense and we were both very much looking forward to it, and he told me that it was even better than he'd hoped, and here I am feeling so let down. I don't want to hurt his feelings. He really is an awesome guy and I'd like to still be friends with him and I'd fuck him once in a while because I don't mind fucking friends, but I don't see any way for this to become the D/s relationship he was hoping for which is really too bad. But, on the other hand, I suppose I don't have to worry about time issues anymore. Sigh.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

Coming Out

Not me, silly. What else could I come out as? I'm already a polyamorous, polysexual, bisexual, Dominant woman. I don't think there would be much more to come out as!

Last night Mark came with me to his first BDSM munch. It was actually funny seeing everyone react when I introduced him. I mean, I've been going out in the community for two years now, and he'd never joined me. So everyone kind of gave a shocked look and said something along the lines of "Wow, he really does exist!". It was pretty funny, actually. But it was really awesome to see him hanging out with all my friends. I know he's not really into the BDSM community so I doubt that he'll come out regularly, but now he's interested in coming out to some of the smaller hobby groups with me which is pretty awesome. It's nice to have him involved in my social life!

And the coolest part was when I turned around, John was there introducing himself to Mark. And they had a really nice conversation. It was actually pretty funny when one of my other friends came over, looked at John, looked at Mark, and said "Wow, you really have a type, huh?" I never really thought of myself as having one, since I consider myself sapiosexual, but yeah, John and Mark are very similar in appearance. So sue me- I like skinny geeky guys :) While that's not the only type I find myself attracted to, I can't deny that it's one I like.

So the three of us hung out for a while together on a couch, and it was just great. Polite but comfortable chat. We're going to set up a night for the three of us to hang out soon, although it won't be until Mark gets back from his next trip since I've got weekend plans with Greg :)

I liked that it was so easy to hang out with both my guys, to be affectionate and touch them and kiss them both. I liked that it was comfortable and socially acceptable and even admired to have two solid relationships going and to be able to enjoy them in public. It was pretty awesome to have Mark standing next to me chatting with a friend while I had one arm around him and the other around John.

Then Mark and I came home afterwards and had wickedly hot sex. I cuffed his hands together with my pink leather cuffs and rode his cock hard. I slapped his face a few times... SO good. That always makes me cum so hard. I made him beg me to cum. I was so wet I was dripping down onto his balls. We definitely needed that! Life is good!