Friday, 10 June 2016

The Spectrum of Sexuality

At times I find it really interesting to pause for a moment on my journey and look back at where I've been and compare it to who I am now. People aren't meant to be static; we evolve. And this is coming from a woman who absolutely loathes change and craves stability! But I'm not the same person I was five years ago, or even three years ago, and it's interesting to see all the changes.

When I attended my first play party, I watched a play piercing scene. I couldn't fathom why anyone would want to do that or how they could derive sexual pleasure from it. Now? I have a tidy stockpile of needles in various sizes in my room, and I enjoy every chance I get to use them on someone. My fantasies kinkwise have certainly gotten edgier- I am more open to trying things and less likely to rule them out. I have certainly learned that you can never say never because you never know! :)

At the same time, I haven't found that I need to do more to enjoy it. It hasn't gotten less sexy to run a violet wand down someone's body for the first time, or even for the hundredth. I still get the same charge- pun intended! I just find that my sexual repertoire has gotten broader; that we communicate more about what we're in the mood for and our menu to satisfy those cravings has expanded. Perhaps one night we'll have vanilla sex with me on top, and another night I'll chain him to the bed and use sounds on his cock while I fuck his ass and make him beg for mercy :)

Even a few years ago, I remember being entirely resistant to playing with women. I'd say that I could appreciate feminine beauty but I didn't find myself attracted to it. I remember Patrick had other partners and he was interested in having a FMF with us, but I refused because I didn't want to interact with her. I proclaimed myself to be a zero on the Kinsey scale.

And then I had my first experience with a couple, which was a little strange at first but I decided to go with it, and I did enjoy myself. It didn't matter whose tongue was in my pussy, it felt just as good! And so it went from there until I found myself dating Jennifer. Our relationship has petered out at this point just because of distance and other commitments, and I've noticed that I find myself missing having a woman to play with and be around. Jennifer and I still talk, and I would consider her a good friend but less of a close one, if that makes sense. So while I miss having a pussy to play with, I also miss the romantic connection with a woman, because I do find it different than that with a man. It's interesting; I would say that if I had a choice right now between dating a man and dating a woman, I'd choose the woman.

We're at the halfway mark in 2016, and I've had an equal number of male and female lovers. I've never had that happen before. I wouldn't be surprised if I finish with more female lovers this year. Interesting, isn't it? I certainly enjoy sharing women with Henry! He'd also enjoy male partners though.

Not that I still don't like men very much! Also, I consider myself much more talented with a cock than with a pussy simply from sheer experience. I'd stack myself against most people for cocksucking, but I don't have that confidence with a pussy. That doesn't stop me from wanting to do it, though! Sadly, having the same bits doesn't naturally confer any additional skill; I think it's just good old fashioned practice.

So, who knows where I'll be in five years? Hopefully, whatever I evolve to, I'll be happy and having fun with various partners, hopefully having some loving and playful relationships and new experiences. For now, I think I'll continue having fun and enjoy the journey.

Thursday, 9 June 2016

Swingers Clubs: How Not to Do It

Henry and I haven't been going out as much, but things are all fine here. We've just been tired and busy with life. Now that summer is coming, we're hoping to be getting out a bit more. We did have a lovely date night last weekend where we went to the lake and had a wine and cheese picnic. Seems like that is one of "our" things and I really enjoy it. Good food, a nice bottle of wine, and good conversation, even if we get a little tipsy. Wine and cheese always feels so decadent to me and I love that.

But, we have been having a little fun! Last night Henry and I went to a swinger's club. Not our usual scene, but it seems like lately neither of us is really looking for another relationship but we're both certainly open to casual play or sex with friends. Different things suit better at different points in our lives, right?

We were there in the afternoon teaching a workshop, since it seems like there are some issues when swingers try to cross over and join us BDSM'ers, and neither group is being malicious but there are definitely hard feelings on both sides when things go wrong. I discussed this a little previously but the idea that swingers might think it's okay to casually touch someone or pick up one of their toys would go over like a lead balloon at a BDSM party. Their terminology is also different from ours (and I see that here as well when people use the terms Dom or sub, they don't mean what I assume those terms to mean).

On the plus side, I think it's great to get to teach them about kink and a little about our community because experimenting is so much fun and if we can help with it, we'd like to. It's just good to make sure that no one's toes get stepped on in the process!

I had been emailing with a couple off Craigslist who told us they were completely brand new at anything; married for 23 years and never with any other partners. So we suggested dinner and chatting, and they could come to the club as our guests and participate to whatever their level of comfort was. They seemed like nice enough people. After dinner, we all went back to the club and chatted in the bar. I'm a little bit of an introvert when it comes to joining new groups of people who all know each other, so it was kind of nice to have people to hang out with, and it also helped that people recognized me from the workshop earlier and wanted to try out the toys I had demonstrated :)

So we invited one of the women who asked, *Jess, to come downstairs with us and we'd give her a little taste of it. Funny how negotiations at a swing club are so different though! She said to me, OK, I'll be the sub and I'll do what you guys say. Fun as that sounds, I just can't do that without knowing more about what she wants and what she doesn't like, so I had to draw her out a bit. But it wasn't long before the five of us were piled into a curtained off corner (since our new friends wanted to watch), and Henry and I turned on the violet wand and started working her over. We started off slowly and sensually and soon she was squirming delightfully. I was playing with her breasts and kissing her while Henry played with her pussy. We traded positions afterwards since I wanted to lick her pussy and she loved the sensation of tiny electric shocks on her clit! It wasn't long before she had a few awesome squirting orgasms and we were all sweaty and having a lot of fun :) Then she asked if she could watch Henry play with me, and I said of course! She nibbled on my neck while she reached around and unzipped my dress, and played with my nipples. I was already dripping wet when Henry slid his fingers into me, and it wasn't long before I was squirting all over the place, too. So much fun. I'm loud, so we attracted some voyeurs which I happen to enjoy as well.

Henry didn't want to cum so early in the evening, so I just sucked his cock for a little while and then stopped short, since we still had a few more hours at the club. And while squirting is fun, sitting in the puddles produced by two squirty girls isn't a lot of fun!

We got cleaned up and went back upstairs to the bar area and partway through we got stopped by a young black guy. I couldn't believe it when he completely ignored me and then said to Henry that he liked what he'd seen and if it was okay with him, he'd like to fuck me. I was standing right there and he was talking about me like I wasn't. Even aside from our D/s dynamic which he couldn't have known since Henry wasn't collared, I was offended just as a human being. I am not just a fuck doll and I don't like to be treated like one. Henry told me later he was floored, but he just replied that it was up to me. I told the guy that I didn't appreciate his assumptions, and he didn't seem to get it so I just walked away. Henry said he heard the guy say to himself "Looks like I blew that," and he totally did. He'd at least have had a shot at getting some action if he'd handled things differently. Gentlemen- if you want to fuck someone, at least take the time to talk to him/her! There was actually a different black guy later in the evening who tried to put his arm around me and ask for my number as we were leaving and I politely said no thank you. If someone wants to sit and chat with me and build up some chemistry, I like sex- I might be interested. But don't make me feel like meat.

We rehydrated a little in the bar, and the newbie couple we were with suggested they might like to try the violet wand as well. So we went downstairs after our break and found a private-ish corner to play in (she didn't really like the idea of being watched). I gave her the wand so the two of them could play around with it a little. They kept their clothes on so it was just sensory/sensual, but it was still fun to watch them break out of their shell and do a little exploring.

It was almost time for the club to close, sadly, and Henry and I were both a teensy bit disappointed since we thought we'd have time for a second round with someone else, but sex with each other is never a consolation prize! The newbies stayed to watch while I gloved up and played with Henry's prostate and sucked him to an orgasm so awesome he pulled a muscle. He said it was worth it :)

And of course, sexy time being a lovely kickstart to our libidos, we woke up this morning and had some nice sensual sex. Pussy, the breakfast of champions.