Friday, 10 June 2016

The Spectrum of Sexuality

At times I find it really interesting to pause for a moment on my journey and look back at where I've been and compare it to who I am now. People aren't meant to be static; we evolve. And this is coming from a woman who absolutely loathes change and craves stability! But I'm not the same person I was five years ago, or even three years ago, and it's interesting to see all the changes.

When I attended my first play party, I watched a play piercing scene. I couldn't fathom why anyone would want to do that or how they could derive sexual pleasure from it. Now? I have a tidy stockpile of needles in various sizes in my room, and I enjoy every chance I get to use them on someone. My fantasies kinkwise have certainly gotten edgier- I am more open to trying things and less likely to rule them out. I have certainly learned that you can never say never because you never know! :)

At the same time, I haven't found that I need to do more to enjoy it. It hasn't gotten less sexy to run a violet wand down someone's body for the first time, or even for the hundredth. I still get the same charge- pun intended! I just find that my sexual repertoire has gotten broader; that we communicate more about what we're in the mood for and our menu to satisfy those cravings has expanded. Perhaps one night we'll have vanilla sex with me on top, and another night I'll chain him to the bed and use sounds on his cock while I fuck his ass and make him beg for mercy :)

Even a few years ago, I remember being entirely resistant to playing with women. I'd say that I could appreciate feminine beauty but I didn't find myself attracted to it. I remember Patrick had other partners and he was interested in having a FMF with us, but I refused because I didn't want to interact with her. I proclaimed myself to be a zero on the Kinsey scale.

And then I had my first experience with a couple, which was a little strange at first but I decided to go with it, and I did enjoy myself. It didn't matter whose tongue was in my pussy, it felt just as good! And so it went from there until I found myself dating Jennifer. Our relationship has petered out at this point just because of distance and other commitments, and I've noticed that I find myself missing having a woman to play with and be around. Jennifer and I still talk, and I would consider her a good friend but less of a close one, if that makes sense. So while I miss having a pussy to play with, I also miss the romantic connection with a woman, because I do find it different than that with a man. It's interesting; I would say that if I had a choice right now between dating a man and dating a woman, I'd choose the woman.

We're at the halfway mark in 2016, and I've had an equal number of male and female lovers. I've never had that happen before. I wouldn't be surprised if I finish with more female lovers this year. Interesting, isn't it? I certainly enjoy sharing women with Henry! He'd also enjoy male partners though.

Not that I still don't like men very much! Also, I consider myself much more talented with a cock than with a pussy simply from sheer experience. I'd stack myself against most people for cocksucking, but I don't have that confidence with a pussy. That doesn't stop me from wanting to do it, though! Sadly, having the same bits doesn't naturally confer any additional skill; I think it's just good old fashioned practice.

So, who knows where I'll be in five years? Hopefully, whatever I evolve to, I'll be happy and having fun with various partners, hopefully having some loving and playful relationships and new experiences. For now, I think I'll continue having fun and enjoy the journey.

6 comments:

  1. What a wonderful synopsis of your experiences, I am particularly intrigued as to how your relationship with other females have developed. I am on a swingers website with my lover but at the moment I just want a female to play with me as I am not quite ready to make that leap

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Developed in what sense? I've had one romantic relationship and several friends that I've had sex and played with in terms of BDSM. I guess just like guys LOL but I find the romantic relationship felt different than my connection with a man. It's hard to define but I enjoyed it and I find myself rather missing it.

      Delete
    2. The sense of development from when you made the decision to enjoy females, what made you turn from your reluctance to play with women. Did a particular woman influence you. A very interesting post, thank you

      Delete
    3. I don't really know. When I first tried that threesome, it was a little weird at first. I decided to go with it and it was fine. I didn't play with her pussy because I was nervous. I'm not really sure how it went from there except that I realized that BDSM turned me on when I was developing a connection with a woman. And then Jennifer and I hit it off so well we started dating. Life is funny sometimes :)

      Delete
  2. Love how you explain yourself....

    ReplyDelete