Saturday, 20 August 2016

Bad Dragon

It's really amazing where the time goes. Henry and I have been dating for two years now, and I told him that at times it feels like much longer but at times I wonder how it's been so long. We've developed our own rhythm in the relationship and it's been different. I've learned that you just can't compare relationships, though; I was a different person too at the other point, so it's not fair to do so. With time being linear, nothing is ever a truly equal comparison. Most of the time though, I am happy with what we have, and that is what matters. We lost our NRE early because of all the upheaval in my life, but the place that it has come to still has a lot of that spark as well as companionate love and smoking hot sex. I could see myself staying here for a while :)

So, the hunt was on to find a suitable anniversary gift for Henry. We'd been looking at some really cool sex toys lately, and I thought that might be a gift for both of us ;)

Henry loves toys with lots of ridges and ribs, so I started looking at the specialty dildos at Bad Dragon. They have some really neat shapes and they all come with their own backstory, if you enjoy that kind of fantasy. Plus, you can customize your toy any way you want! While I like Tantus' silicone dildos, for example, I always felt that they were a little too hard for comfortable use. At Bad Dragon you can get your toy in anything from very soft if you want a packer, to firm if you want to feel every ridge. You can also have a suction cup or a cum tube installed. I admit that I thought the cum tube was a little weird until I realized it would be very useful for getting the lube all the way inside your ass or pussy, where it's probably needed the most. I didn't get this feature but I might consider it in the future. And you can even pick your own colouring, either a solid colour or a marbling of two colours you like or one colour fading to another. While I don't really care what colour a toy is when it's inside me, I do think that some of their toys are really gorgeous looking.

So I decided to pick out a ridgy toy for Henry. I wound up choosing the Apollo, in light blue, very firm (since Henry likes to feel all the ridges).

Isn't it pretty?

I also figured I'd get a toy for me, since sometimes I wear out Henry's hand while he's fisting me quite before I'm done having orgasms, and so I thought a nice big thick dildo would be perfect for that. So I ordered a Stan in Frankenpour (you can let them choose some random colouring and I thought that was cool).

Now the other cool option is that they come in a variety of sizes from mini to XL. They even have little size charts on their website that give you the stats for the length, circumference of various points, etc. Now the problem is that I don't really have a great head for numbers, and I have no idea how big my usual toys are- or Sam's fist for that matter. This was probably something I should have asked Henry about before buying the toys but I wanted to surprise him.

I ordered both toys in large. I figured that large on that scale should be suitable given how I like being fisted and he loves big toys and has even taken my hand once. Now, I didn't realize how many people love large specialty toys, so I may have made a teensy bit of a mistake. Or rather I should say a colossal mistake! When I opened the package, the Stan toy was larger than my forearm! It was absolutely huge. The Apollo was a bit smaller but not too much. Whoops!

I did decide to give them to Henry, and when he saw them he laughed when he saw what I'd done and said it was worth the money just to see it. We made all kinds of jokes about what we could use the Stan for- like taking it to the swinger's club and next time we run into a mouthy guy, pull it out and say that I like to fuck men with it ;)

We decided to give Apollo a try, though. Henry loved the ribbing on it, even though all he could really use was the head. We tried it on me (don't forget to wash it between uses!) and I couldn't get it past the knot either, but I loved the really full sensation in my pussy. This one is definitely going to be in our useful toy box!

I wound up selling the Stan to someone else, and we have already ordered a couple more toys in much more reasonable sizes that might actually fit inside us :) We ordered a Flint in small, firm, for Henry, another Stan for me but in small, and a basilisk sheath. I thought that was pretty cool- it's like a cover that goes over a cock but leaves the head exposed so that the man can still have sensation, but the woman gets a thicker and ridgier cock to enjoy. I'm definitely looking forward to trying it out, and I will write about our experiences when I get it. I think we're going to enjoy this site! Oh, and before you ask, I paid for my order, and Bad Dragon didn't ask me to write about the toys- I just wanted to share my experiences with you.

Saturday, 6 August 2016

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Ok, so I like the Everly Brothers. Sue me :)

I find it interesting that when I was younger I read about women who had orgasms in their sleep and kind of scoffed at it. I mean, I know it happens to men, but I didn't ever have anything like that happen to me, nor did I know any women who would admit to it whether they experienced it or not. Now that I'm in my thirties, though, I find to my delight that it is something that does happen every once in a while.

So what's it like for a man? Do you remember the dream in the morning, or do you just wake up wet and sticky? I've had lots of sexy dreams in my life, but none like what I've been experiencing the last year or so until recently. More so than the details of the dream, I remember overwhelming pleasure that pulses through my whole vagina. It's intense and incredible and I wake up feeling good but also hungry for more. I'm actually unsure if they're better than what I get when I'm awake, if I was mentally present and relaxed and ready for it. And I have some pretty amazing orgasms when I'm awake, that's for sure!

The other thing I find interesting is that while my primary way to orgasm is via my clit, and secondarily via my A spot (if you haven't read about the anterior fornix, get your ass over to Google and learn how to deliver a new level of pleasure to your female partners. Just wait until they're all warmed up and ready before you go for it!). But these sleepgasms are vaginal, as far as I can tell, since that's where the pleasure radiates from so intensely. It's exceptionally rare for me to have a vaginal orgasm during sex. I can pretty much count the number of orgasms I've had during PIV sex, unless I happen to be fucking a man with a cock that curves upwards in just the right way. So it makes me curious why this happens the way it does. I'm certainly happy to have the opportunity to experience these, though! Generally they happen when I am craving sex- the female equivalent of deadly sperm buildup? :) But they're relatively infrequent, even if I haven't been having sex for a while.

Last night Henry and I were cuddled up in bed and I mentioned the lovely sleepgasms I had the night before. I couldn't recall much of what was happening, but the vivid memory of the pleasure I experienced was still burned in my head. It wasn't long before Henry's fingers were slipping into my pussy and giving me something fresh to think about! He has never given me vaginal orgasms like these, but I can't complain about the times he makes me cum until I can't speak and squirt all over the bed! I climbed on his cock and he played with my clit until I was having orgasm after orgasm clenched around his cock before he filled me with cum. We snuggled together afterwards, full of contentment. I've always said I'm not as much for PIV sex, but there is something to be said for the connection it can build with someone you love. That, and orgasms!

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

More Musings on Sex

I find it really interesting that I have been mostly thinking of myself as "monogamous" for the last year or so, despite having a few other sexual partners. Most of the time, Henry and I have been together for those experiences and so I feel like they've more been about us doing things together, which for some odd reason classifies in my head as monogamous. Even with the few partners I have had on my own there hasn't been anything romantic. They all have been pretty much friends with benefits, which is still awesome and connected, but not in a polyamorous sense. Which at this point in time, is perfectly fine with me. I'm still dealing with a lot of stress in my life and I am not sure I have the energy to devote to an additional romantic relationship. I suspect that is partly why my relationship with Jennifer morphed more into a friendship- I wasn't holding up my end the way I think is important. I'm perfectly happy with more sex though!

My natural sex drive is much higher than Henry's, as a general rule. In addition to that, when his health conditions flare up, there are often larger blocks of time where we can't have sex at all. And yeah, I have lots of vibrators and sex toys, but nothing really is quite as satisfying as a good round of sex. I've never been able to make myself squirt solo, for example, since I find that a large portion of that is in my head in addition to playing with the right spot. And I do crave the cuddles and kisses and sensual touch in addition to the orgasms. Masturbation is fine when I need mechanical release, but it's just not the same. I normally find that I'll masturbate for 2-3 hours at a time, with little breaks in between to find a new piece of erotica or a porn video. For the first half hour or so, I usually can't orgasm at all- and if you've fucked me, you know that when I'm turned on I can orgasm easily within minutes. Then for an hour or so, I have some, and they're generally pretty good, but it feels like something is missing, so I keep going. Then I start to desensitize from the vibrator and start losing the ability to cum this way, and I get frustrated. So you can see how a masturbatory session isn't all that thrilling to me! I much prefer to use my toys with a partner.

So lately, I've been finding that I really do want to have more sex while understanding that Henry really can't up his frequency at times. I am finding myself remarkably hesitant to do so, though. Partly I think it's because we aren't married; we've been together for two years, but there isn't the depth and commitment that there is in a marriage. Which makes absolutely no sense since my marriage to Mark didn't stop things from ending, and Henry wholeheartedly encourages me to take new partners when I feel the desire to.

Part of it is also the reminder that no matter how much sex I have outside my relationship with Henry, that it will never replace sex with Henry. You can't use intimacy with one person as a crutch for a lack with another. And so I'm a little pensive about seeking another regular partner because I know it won't make me desire Henry any less. It might make me a little happier if it's good, connected sex though, and so I'm still seriously considering it.

In the meantime, I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for someone(s) to join us in bed once Henry was feeling up to it. I like having threesomes and groups with him- it still fuels the intimacy between us. And frankly, it is hot watching him fuck someone! My own personal sex show ;)

But, I digress! So I got the usual garbage replies, and then one from a married couple in the BDSM community, who it turns out we sort of know on sight but don't really know. We've been chatting with them and so far are hitting it off, so we'll see how it goes! I think we could have a lot of fun with these guys if we all feel chemistry. And if not- there'll be someone else :)