Holiday Parties

Well, usually everyone is all exhausted with all the running around we do during the holidays. Work parties, families, holiday get togethers... sometimes the level of social required can be overwhelming! Of course, I'm not the world's most social person myself either, so I enjoy my down time.

Henry and I did go to our favourite holiday party, though. It's a BDSM house party with just the right atmosphere and great people to have a good time. We enjoy the socializing almost as much as the play, which is saying something!

As a special treat for the holidays, the host had burlesque performers come in- it was so sexy watching attractive men putting on a fabulously erotic show for us all. One of them must have had on ten different pairs of sexy underwear! I certainly enjoyed watching him peel off each pair and every time I thought we had come to the end! I had never seen a burlesque show before and I definitely enjoyed it.

To all my readers; I hope you are having a lovely holiday season, and see you in the new year!

Deepening

Not too much fun lately. Henry and I have both been sick, so lots of cuddles, not much fun time. What can you do, right? It's that time of year. But it still fills me with contentment because when I see my husband, I see the man that I am happy sharing my life with. He is the first person I want to talk to when something interesting or exciting happens, and the last person I want to say goodnight to. I feel like he loves me and appreciates me for who I am, faults and all, and that I can just be my weird self and it's all okay.

Doesn't everyone deserve a love like that? And, of course, he's great in the sack, too ;) I certainly got lucky when it comes to him. I don't know what forever will bring... I know what can happen now, all too clearly. But I was willing to roll the dice on it with him. I'm still a hopeless romantic at heart, what can I say?

A friend made a comment that left me feeling thinky, so I wanted to share that here; perhaps it will help some of you as well.

You and your partner are looking at a glass bowl containing a fish. You look at it and think "What a pretty fish!". Your partner looks at it and thinks "What a pretty bowl!". You're both looking at the same thing, but you're taking away two entirely different things. On your own, you would never likely appreciate the beauty of the bowl; you're caught up in the fish. Together, you get to enjoy each other's unique perspectives and insights; your differences can become strengths when you share your thoughts and ideas, as long as you don't get into a yelling match "No, it's a pretty FISH! Who cares about your stupid bowl!"

Henry and I are very different people, with different likes, dislikes, and interests. The thing that we share so solidly though is our desire to make things work together. To respect each other as people, to assume good intentions even when things go wrong. To leave space for us to be ourselves. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you think the fish or the bowl is pretty; what matters is that you got the chance to experience it from your partner's viewpoint, that you listened to what they were saying, and validated them even if you don't agree.

Sometimes life isn't sexy, but relationship skills are important too, right? :)

Things are continuing to go well with Charles, too. The other day, we were cuddled up on the couch, and he told me that he loves me, too. Like I said about Henry, there isn't much that beats hearing that someone you love, loves you back, the very first time. Definitely a happy making moment.

The holidays are going to be pretty busy, so I'm not sure how much I'm going to get up to. I'm looking forward to a big dungeon party with Henry tomorrow night, though. After that? We'll see...

The Two Person Threesome

Ah, birthdays in a poly vee are awesome- I get TWO romantic and sexy date days instead of one! I'm such a lucky woman, aren't I?

Henry and I shared my last slice of birthday cake (white chocolate raspberry mousse, it was absolutely delicious!) and then he told me to give him a few minutes and then come up to the bedroom.

We enjoy having sex with porn on in the background- it's nice to have the auditory stimulation. Sometimes the little bit that kicks me over the edge is listening to someone else orgasm! We have a few go-to pornos that we both enjoy- we joke they are our "friends" visiting again. Fun times :)  He had one of our favourite videos booted up and a bunch of toys laid out on the bed.

Henry gave me a sexy, lingering kiss and told me to relax and get comfortable on the bed. At times, I very much enjoy being a pillow princess! He lay down beside me and turned on the volume on the TV, and then we started kissing, and slow, sensual touches that drive me crazy with a slow burn. Soon my pussy was wet and aching and I was kissing him back passionately and rocking my hips towards him.

He slid his fingers inside me and started to stretch my wet cunt open while he played with my clit. It wasn't too long before I was squirting and moaning with pleasure. He grinned at me, and pulled out a new toy I hadn't seen before. Henry had decided to surprise me with a fucking machine! Ooh. I wasn't sure how much I'd like it, since I tend not to be a dildo kind of girl and I much prefer human beings to masturbation. But my pussy is aching to be filled and my clit is begging for attention... so I'm willing to give him a chance ;)

Ohhh. That nice thick cock started ramming in and out of my cunt while Henry was kissing me passionately and teasing my nipples. It felt just like we're having a threesome, except there aren't quite enough hands. But the sensation of being filled with a thick hard cock and being fucked just the way I want it while he overwhelms my other senses is so good... I started to get that sexy haze in my mind and I couldn't think about anything else but how good my body was feeling and how incredible it all was. There was nothing in the world but his lips and his fingers and his tongue and that big hard cock rhythmically pounding my pussy while I listened to the moans and grunts and cries of the orgy on TV.

When he started to rub my clit while sucking on one of my nipples, my body spasmed and I came so hard and it lasted so long that I thought I was going to pass out. So much amazing pleasure... one wrung out birthday girl.

I'm not sure I'd enjoy a fucking machine as a masturbatory aid, since penetration is the least important bit of sex to me, but as an adjunct to a threesome, I would highly recommend it! For all those couples out there who are considering inviting someone new into your bedroom, give this a try first- you won't regret it!

Happy Birthday to Me!

So things are really, really good right now. I don't think I've been this content, let alone happy, in a while.

This weekend was my birthday, and we had a big open house party for people to drop in and hang out and have food and drinks and socialize. The house got crowded, but it was nice to have so many people who wanted to celebrate with me. I felt loved and special :)  My friends all know that we're poly and kinky, since the majority of them are part of the BDSM community and the other ones have been around long enough to love me anyway. So Charles was there too, and as my boyfriend, not just a regular guest. I always love it when I can be affectionate to both my partners without having to worry about people's reactions.

Since we were drinking, lots of people wound up crashing in my living room. I invited Charles to stay the night, and Henry suggested that we take the master bedroom for the night and he'd get me the next day. That seemed fair to me!

We were tired and a little drunk, but Charles and I wound up naked in bed and kissing. We talked a little and soon his hard cock was leaking on me and I started teasing him. He said to me, "Well, I'm in bed with a beautiful woman, what did you expect to happen?" One thing led to another and soon we were having passionate sex. It was just so good to be lying in his arms and not to have to worry about one of us needing to go home.

And while I think he had a pretty good idea of how I've been feeling, I am indeed a big fan of communicating directly with words. But I didn't want to set up a big thing with pressure and expectations, so I waited until we were cuddling after sex and deciding to go to sleep. When I said goodnight, I also whispered in his ear, "I love you."

Charles grabbed my face and started kissing me in a way I can only describe as happy and enthusiastic- kinda like a puppy? And then he said "I know you want to go to sleep, but you can't drop a bomb like that on a man and then just pull away!" I told him that I just didn't want to create expectation or make things awkward. He kissed me again and then we went to sleep.

All my relationships feel differently; I've noticed even my NRE has been feeling different this go around, and I think I'm just more conscious if it now so it likely was before, too. This love isn't the same as the one I feel for Henry. It's unique to my connection with Charles, and right now it's just growing. But I think that he and I have something together, and I'm so glad that I met him and have him in my life.

I told Henry about that chat afterwards, and he got all playful with me and started teasing me about "catching the feels". But he was happy that I'm so happy. I'm glad I can share moments like that with him. Having him as my husband is pretty wonderful!

In the morning, I woke up next to Charles and we had pretty amazing morning sex. He joked that I'm going to fuck him to death! I just find it amusing that I have two boys and my sex drive outstrips both of them put together! I see why women choose to become cougars; they want to have a boy toy who can just keep going and going and going like the Energizer bunny ;)   Thankfully, I don't think I've hit quite that age, but both my partners are younger, so call me what you like!

And then the next day I spent with Henry- to be continued...

Finding My New Balance

Not the shoes, although I could probably use another pair! Speaking of which, this weekend is my birthday, so if anyone wants to buy a girl a gift, that would be lovely and much appreciated!

Things have just been good lately. I feel like I'm finally starting to be happy again. It's taken a long time to heal and realize that I'm not getting back to normal, that I have to create my new normal. And with a few exceptions, I'm mostly good with how things are going. Thanks for reading along with me this whole time!

Henry and I have been building more quality time into our relationship. It's definitely harder to make time for special moments in a long term cohabitating relationship, I think. There's always something that needs doing, or someone's tired, or else you figure that you see the person all the time anyway so no need to try and carve out special blocks, right? But it took seeing how much I enjoy the little blocks of time I have with Charles to remember that I really want to keep that same feeling with Henry, and it's definitely given our marriage a boost. The NRE is overflowing and that's just wonderful :)

We bought a new cock sheath from Bad Dragon since we enjoy our first one so much.

Because it leaves the cockhead exposed, it's fun and satisfying for both partners. I like the extra girth it puts around Henry's cock, and he still gets to feel my wet pussy and also the little nubs and ridges inside the toy. He often uses our other sleeve as a masturbation toy since it's such good quality. Definitely a fun one to add to your toy box.

Since we just got it on the weekend, I wanted to break it in in the most amusing way I could think of. I sucked Henry's cock until he was hard, and then had him try it on about an hour before my date night with Charles, and he let me know that it was feeling really good. I stroked it up and down over his cock and listened to his breathing and little moans. Just as he was starting to get close, I told him that I wanted him to wait for me to come home. He looked so frustrated! I don't always do much in the way of denial play, but this time I found it incredibly erotic to tell him that he could touch his cock all he liked, but not to orgasm without me.

And then I went off for my date with Charles. It was a pretty good night. He was having a house party and had made a delicious dinner and dessert, and introduced me to all of his friends. It was fun when someone made an offhand orgy joke and the only other woman there made a comment that she thought she could speak for both of us and say that we wouldn't be up for that. I kinda gave her a naughty grin and said that "Well, I'm not exactly a one person person anyway, so I'd be open to the idea!". There were about ten guys there, I bet that could have been a good night ;)

Then Charles and I snuck upstairs during the party and clothes came flying off while we were kissing passionately. We haven't gotten nearly enough naked time lately, but tis the season for things to get busy!

He told me how much he'd been missing me, how horny he was, and his cock was pulsing against me. I told him that maybe if he asked me really nicely, that I'd help him out with that. He whispered in my ear so sexily, and begged me to suck his cock. How could I refuse? I love feeling his big hard cock get even bigger in my mouth. It was fun to tease him and run my tongue on the edge of his cockhead and slurp him all the way into my throat. I love a good blowjob!

I decided not to get him off like that, though. I wanted to say all the awful things I have been thinking of doing to him and watch him play with his cock while he listens. I told him how I want to bring over some gloves and watch him squirm while I play with his prostate, then bring out my strap on harness and bend him over the edge of the bed and fuck him like a two dollar whore. He was so excited by that and begged me to use him. Too bad we didn't have more time!

Instead, I decided to be consistent and leave him wanting more... I left him with a hard cock and whispered "Sweet dreams"! Then I went home to my Henry and he fingered me to some lovely orgasms before I told him he could slide that sheath into my pussy and fuck me hard. So good... It was a lovely day :)

Happy Halloween!

And so, it was time to pop Charles' cherry and take him to his first BDSM party. I invited him to our local Halloween ball and he decided to come along with me and Henry.

I always love being able to be out in public with more than one partner and show affection to both. It was lovely having one arm around each of them, or one kissing my neck while the other holds my hand. I enjoyed introducing Charles around to the friends he hadn't met yet while Henry was playing up his brat role a little bit. Fun was had by all :)

Charles decided he just wanted to watch for the night, so we took in some scenery. It was lovely to watch a Dom smacking a pretty young girl's ass until it turned a lovely shade of pink, watching her moan and jerk and beg in her bondage. I whispered in Charles' ear that I could tell he wished it was him, and he gave me an embarrassed smile and nodded yes.

We also watched a few other demos... someone dripping hot wax onto breasts with sensual sighs. A heavyset man being lit on fire. A small woman being suspended from a rope frame. Just another night at the local dungeon... but full of wonder for someone new. I remember my first play party and how much I was fascinated by all that we do and why. I still don't know why some of it arouses me, but I get enough enjoyment not to worry about it too much. After all, I don't see how it's much different than liking blowjobs, or being attracted to blondes. Sexual preference is sexual preference, and it's OK to have your own preferences as long as you don't dehumanize people nonconsensually.

And then I sat Charles down and started strapping Henry to a table. It was time to put on a show of my own! Henry was bound with his wrists over his head and his legs spread wide. I pulled out my violet wand and accessories, and I made love to him the best way I know how. Running little sparks of electricity up and down his body until he gasped and shook in his bondage. Wiring myself up so that my fingers produced tiny electric shocks, teasing his cock to full hardness in front of a room full of people, then zapping him with some intense toys before working his cock back up again. I'm sure the arousal and pain yo-yo was agonizing and fun all at once! We always get a lot of spectators when we play together because we're a lot of fun to watch, and we do stuff that is a little off the beaten path.

I didn't let Henry cum, of course... I wanted that for later ;)

Of course he needed aftercare. When I undid the cuffs and chains and wrapped him in his fuzzy blanket, we went over to one of the couches and I brought him water and we cuddled. Charles joined us not too long after, and I found myself draped across the two of them, my upper body in Henry's lap and my legs and feet on Charles. It's lovely that the two of them get along so well, because it makes so many good things possible. While this party doesn't allow penetrative sex, there are lots of things it does allow!

It wasn't too long before Henry was playing with my nipples through my sheer costume blouse, and Charles started stroking my thighs until I was squirming on both of them. Playing at a BDSM party always makes me so wet and I was enjoying their touch. I told Charles to slide down my purple lace panties, and I saw him suck in his breath when the scent of my arousal was so prominent.

Henry kissed me passionately and continued lightly pinching and stroking my nipples while Charles buried his face in my dripping cunt. I nearly came at the first touch of his tongue. It was so sexy to watch all the fun going on at the party, and I had enjoyed my scene with Henry very much, and now here I was on a couch in front of onlookers with a tongue in my mouth and a tongue in my pussy, my skimpy skirt hiked up and my bare lasered pussy on display. I enjoy being an exhibitionist at least as much as I like being a voyeur, and I was impatient for more skin on skin so I pulled open my blouse so that Henry could have easier access to my body. He kissed down my neck to the nape of my shoulders while he was still working on my breasts, and then I felt Charles' fingers slide into my sopping wet hole while he continued to tongue my clit as though pleasing me was the most important thing in the world- and in that moment it felt like it! I bit back a loud moan and orgasmed hard in front of the large audience that had built up by now.

I wasn't done yet- I'm not the kind of woman who is one and done. I was rocking my hips and grinding my pussy on Charles' face while he pumped his fingers in and out of my tight little cunt. I wanted cock so badly, but his finger fucking was the next best thing. He slid his hand in deeply and started to rhythmically stroke my A spot and I gasped with the intense pleasure as the two of them expertly worked on making me feel so good. They could tell from the increasing pitch of my moans that I was getting ready to cum again and Henry pinched my nipples hard at just the right moment when Charles was tonguing my clit just the way I like and fucking his hand in me so deeply, and I screamed and squirted all over Charles' face when I came in a hot wet rush.

I looked up to a round of applause, and someone was kind enough to hand Charles a towel to dry himself off a bit. I kissed Henry, and I pulled Charles up to me and kissed him with the scent of my pussy all over his face. It was a fabulous night out with my boys!

My Cock is Bigger Than Yours...

Mmm... it's so wonderful to have a live in 24/7 submissive sometimes. I love having Henry around to play with whenever I want him :)

When we woke up this morning, I gave him a little list of things to get together and preparations to make, because I told him that his ass was mine. He was a good boy- in short order, there were towels on the bed, gloves, lube, chain, cuffs, and all kinds of toys. And of course he was waiting for me with his collar. I love listening to the tag I had custom made for him jingle against the D ring on his collar- just another audible reminder that he is mine.

I slid a lubed up butt plug into his ass, and then had him present to me on all fours. Apparently, a spanking can produce a lovely sensation with the newer style magnetic butt plugs that feel like they move inside you! Henry doesn't normally love impact play, but he certainly gets quite a bit of pleasure from it when it makes him feel like he's getting fucked. And I love the pink spots that start coming up on his butt cheeks and thighs when I work him over.

Henry has been such a good boy lately, that I wanted to focus on his pleasure today. It is nice to spoil the ones we love, isn't it? :)  So when I was done with him, I put on the leather wrist and ankle cuffs and had him lie down on the bed. Our wonderful wooden four poster bed has eye bolts sunk into the frame- discreet, but easy bondage when I hooked the chains on to his wrists. I had him fold his legs up straight so that I could hook the ankle cuffs to the wrist cuffs, and then I had easy access to all the bits I might want to play with! His cock was already standing at attention and leaking all over himself, and it was fun to tease him that now he was immobilized, that I was going to go and leave him like that. He couldn't reach his cock if he wanted to, let alone escape the bondage.

And then I pulled out the butt plug slowly, leaving his ass empty and begging to be filled. I told him that one day I would have a lineup of people waiting outside to use him, one after the other. To fuck his ass or his mouth and then make room for the next person who wanted him. His cock was as hard as a steel rod when I was telling him that while I considered charging for his services, that I was sure I'd be getting asked for a refund because his ass would be so loose after all the fucking he'd get!

I put on my harness, and grabbed one of our favourite cocks- a lovely, big, thick 11" dildo. His ass was just begging for it and he moaned so loudly when I filled him up. I wanted to use him the way the strangers would use him, fuck him without mercy... and he loved every minute of it. It wasn't long before he came in a hot wet rush. His cock stayed hard, though, so the fucking didn't stop. His eyes were closed and I was telling him that now the next person was going to fuck him and my hips kept rocking that dildo into his hungry little ass. He took every inch of it until I was satiated and his brains had been fucked out.

Such a good boy :)  I love my husband, and I love making him smile.

This Cat Has Claws...

Continuing on the alley cat theme from my last post... no one said that I was going to be all cuddles and purring! The more I fall for someone romantically, the more I want to hurt them and Dominate them if there is that energy between us. It's like I can smell my prey :)

It was date night with Charles again, and he was tired so we hadn't planned to have sex, but decided to go and cuddle in bed and chat. Skin on skin is always a lovely thing. So we started off just being in each others' arms and chatting. Relaxing and enjoyable but not particularly sexy.

Then the conversation started to shift... I had asked him to finish going over his BDSM checklist and pick three activities on it that he would like to try. I've been taking things really slowly because I don't want to be That Dom who grooms their partner into thinking things need to be a certain way, or that they have to try stuff before they're ready, or if they can't give informed consent because they don't know the potential risks. Also, Charles in particular tends to get spacey really easily, so I don't want to manipulate him into doing things when he's in that cloud.

He said he was feeling clearheaded, and did I have some things to show him? I took out some claws and sensory toys, and a low temp wax candle and did just a little taste test of both. He definitely liked both of them, so that was a good start. He also mentioned some things he had been wanting to try and we talked about that a little.

But, it kicked up the temperature in the room just a little. The more feelings I'm developing for him, the harder it is to keep the intensity of my D/s and kink desires on a leash (no pun intended!). While I can do kink stuff just fine on its own, when I have romantic feelings for someone and there's this certain type of energy between us... it's so difficult to not want. I was struggling to figure out how to complete that sentence. The word that springs to mind is possession. I want all of them, in every way I can have them.

The talking slowed down and it transitioned to passionate kisses and sensual touch. I normally have trouble focusing on just one thing, normally I'm thinking about at least 2-3 different things at once so I really prize being wholly in the moment. I really, really wanted to tell him that I love him. It was almost pounding in my head when we were looking in each other's eyes. But I couldn't quite figure out how. Neither of us were speaking... just the kisses and touches and then the pauses to look into each other's eyes.

So I decided to distract him a little and just kinda slide it in. He loves biting, so I leaned over to whisper in his ear knowing he'd be focused on anticipating the bite. I told him that I'm falling for him, and I heard him suck in his breath sharply, and then I started to bite his neck and he was just gone, begging me to bite him more. He told me afterwards that in that moment he was wanting so badly to be mine, that he would have done anything for me. (hence the reason for my caution about the BDSM stuff!)

It just felt so intense in the moment and I think that I wanted to possess him as much as he wanted to be mine. I knew he wasn't up for sex, but I asked him how tired his tongue was! I needed to orgasm so badly. And it was so wonderful when he helped me out with that! I nearly came with the first touch of his tongue on my clit. I was so worked up from all the talk about BDSM activities... and all my desires for him. I told him that I wanted to tie him up and make him cry and we both sucked in a ragged breath at the image. I grabbed his hair and started to grind my pussy on his face while he licked me as though I was the most delicious treat he'd ever had... and then I squirted all over him. Such a good boy, he made sure to lick up every drop.

He had to leave not too long afterwards, but sadly, reality often tends to intrude on fun. But I'm still wrapped in that golden bubble right now and feeling pretty awesome about things. NRE got one hell of a kick today. I'm still not sure where I am on that spectrum of is this still NRE or is it love? But I told Henry I loved him at 6 weeks... sometimes I wonder if I just fall in love really easily. I don't do things by halves.

But for now, things are just really good, and I needed that. Golden days and silver nights...

Yum!

Both my men really enjoy cooking. I have to admit, that I've really been enjoying it lately! When I was over at Charles' house and delicious smells were emanating from the kitchen, I joked that I felt like the local alley cat, stopping by for a meal. And of course, he might just get lucky that I was in heat...

But it certainly is nice to sit down to a fabulous home cooked meal, a good bottle of wine, and a great conversation. I like the sex. I like the activities we do together. But the part that shows me that we're really connecting and it's not just about the hormones is the communication. I consider myself to be sapiosexual, and good conversation about interesting topics is what really attracts me. I don't really have a type, but there are some qualities that have to be there to get my interest- and that's near the top of the list.

I've been experiencing my NRE a little differently this time around, but granted, it's been several years now since I've ridden that train and I've had my share of mental health issues that might have been affecting things. Funny how I'm feeling a lot better lately, isn't it? :)

The NRE is flickering in and out a bit, rather than being omnipresent. But it's so good when it's there, and when it's not, I can attend to other areas in my life. I'm actually finding this to fit in with my life much better, and I'm not worrying about it anymore. I feel more balanced. I can dive in and enjoy those golden moments, where nothing else in the world exists but the two of us. And when I have other things on the go, I can devote my attention to those things without my mind being too distracted.

But the good moments are indeed, very, very good. It gets difficult to behave myself sometimes, because Charles is very new to BDSM, and I want to take things very slowly to be sure that he knows what he's saying yes to, and that he wants to do the things. But the NRE has started to unleash that part of me that wants to do all the things to him. It makes me greedy to have it all at once, now. I want to spank him and make him cry and do awful degrading things and give him so much pleasure. I can keep my predator on a leash for now... but not for too long!

I voiced that while we were having sex yesterday and his cock was leaking all over me. I reminded him that one day I'm going to make him clean all that up with his tongue and he took my hand and licked off his precum while he looked into my eyes. It was so sexy... he told me that it tasted of us, that he loves the taste of me. I have a number of fetishes about consuming body fluids so that was one big turn on!

Not abusing that trust and vulnerability is so important to me, though. Charles gets spacey so easily. I don't know if it's a version of subspace, but it certainly seems so to me. He drifts there so quickly when I bite his neck. I love biting- Henry says it's kissing with a winner :)  I tell him I just never got past that point in my life where you say, I licked it so it's mine, but instead I have graduated to biting!

I told him last night to take his time and explore my body, learn the way I like to be touched. It was so hot, and I know he liked listening to the sounds that I make when I'm enjoying himself. My pussy was so wet... it wasn't long before I was squirting all over his fingers. And then he dove right in and started to lick up all that wetness he made. It's so sexy to see how much he enjoys licking my cunt! I am not sure I've ever experienced it to this extent before. I've had partners who love eating pussy, like Allen, but not one who made me feel like I was a delicious treat they were getting to enjoy! He fed me dinner, and I provided dessert ;)

It felt so good when I finally told him to fuck me... I love when he rubs his cock against my labia and clit tantalizingly before he spreads open my pussy with his thick cockhead and fills me up. My pussy was making squishy sounds while he was sliding his cock in and out, in and out. He has a bit of a gentle upwards curve so he rubs against the walls of my pussy and it feels amazing. And it's always so much fun when he begs me to cum...and I decide yes or no. Sometimes it's fun to leave them wanting, wouldn't you say?

My New Favorite Toy

It's been a while now, but crowning a new favorite toy isn't something that one should rush into, right? We have to do a lot of experimentation... over and over... different speeds and tempos and pressure and now I'm getting a wet pussy!

When Henry and I were on our honeymoon, we stopped in at the Museum of Sex. It wasn't too exciting at first- it looked a lot like what we could see on Fetlife for free. It did get better once we got out of the photographs and into the exhibits. And I gotta say, the little porno theatre with the weird nun porn was definitely a strange experience with an eclectic group of strangers!

We did take a stop through the gift shop, though, and we decided to treat each other to new toys for our honeymoon. Both were great choices and we're very happy with them! I picked this one:

I love the Volta, by Fun Factory. It wasn't a cheap toy (I think it was about $140), but it is so much fun in so many ways! Obviously, the split "lips" make it great for clit stimulation, but you can slide it down your labia and into your vagina and the curved shape works perfectly for that. The bump near the handle will still hit your clit while you're using it for internal stimulation. It also has a bunch of different settings, but I tend to prefer (with most vibrating toys), the standard constant setting at various intensities, rather than the different patterns of vibration.

Lately, this has definitely been the toy I've gone to lately when I'm turned on and neither of my boys is around.

Henry and I have been going through our toy box lately and getting rid of old or damaged toys, looking at what we'd like to acquire, and just generally having some fun sorting things out. I'm not being compensated for writing this review (I did pay for the toy myself), but I thought that some of you might like a toy recommendation either for yourselves, or for a gift for that special woman in your life.

If anyone would like to send me something special, I've got an Amazon wish list, and you would certainly get a nice thank you for thinking of me ;)

The Most Amazing Day

Have I mentioned that I love my husband? :D

We had such a wonderful day yesterday! I'm not sure we've actually had such a full day of debauchery before, but it was amazing. We're definitely going to have to do it again as long as we make sure we have enough time for recovery!

We had discussed that we wanted a day to reinforce our D/s connection, plus we wanted some playtime and sexy fun. So that's exactly what we did. Twelve straight hours of intimacy and kinky fun, with a dinner break.

It started in the morning, when I locked his collar around his neck, and a leather parachute around his balls and clipped some weights to it. Then I added clothespins all over his balls, and told him to cook breakfast- pancakes and bacon. I adore watching naked submissives cooking for me- and watching him squirm away from the stove when the bacon popped was hilarious! His cock was already leaking all over the clothespins.

After I ate, I slowly removed the clothespins and his parachute so that he could eat, too. We moved over to the couch where he gave me a lovely pedicure. Which doesn't sound so very kinky until you realize that he was wearing a Humbler and a butt plug, and his wrists were cuffed together. It was delightful to watch! While my toes were drying, I bought out my lovely strap and turned his ass and thighs pink so that he wouldn't be too comfortable sitting down later.

We went upstairs for a quick shower together, where he washed my hair. It's one of our little rituals together that just brings in the D/s. I put his collar back on when we got out, and then it was time for a little snack. I have always found it funny when he has to work a little harder for his food, and he enjoys playing along. So I inserted an anal hook and tied it to his collar, put him on his stomach and cuffed his hands together behind his back. And on his plate? Little round crackers, sliced meat, and sliced cheese. He was so cute making little sandwiches with his mouth! Of course, I enjoyed mine properly at the table... with my feet using his ass as a rest.

And then onto the kinky part of the day... we went upstairs and I put a blindfold on him before spending the next two hours doing sensory play. I kept changing them up... everything from soft furs to vampire gloves to leather floggers to a crop to a plastic brush to titanium claws. So much fun to watch him wiggle and squirm! And of course, to occasionally hit the top of the anal hook with a vibrator and watch the gasp as the vibrations went all the way down the hook. He begged me to suck his cock, and I laughingly denied him

Henry had really wanted a day where he could go into subspace and just relax... he was a good portion of the way there! But I figured that hook needed to come out, and he'd need a break to rehydrate and use the washroom. It wasn't long before I had him back on the bed, and this time, I chained him to our four poster so that he wasn't going anywhere! I left the blindfold off this time because I knew he was going to squirm too much for it to stay in place.

And then I pulled out our lovely violet wand. We have so much fun with electrical play- I knew I was going to show him a wonderful time. And believe me, I was enjoying myself so much I was leaving wet spots on the bed! It wasn't that long before he was gone... eyes rolling back in his head and making the most wonderful sounds. I love watching his reactions! We played for two more hours before I brought him back to earth, wrapped him in his fuzzy blanket, and unclipped the chains. We cuddled in bed while I ordered dinner to be delivered, and turned on a romantic comedy for our break. Cuddles, bonding, and pizza- what a combination :)

Of course, after a whole day of kinky play, we weren't going to forget the orgasms! Henry knew he wasn't going to last long, so he used his hands to get me to some amazing orgasms. My pussy was so sensitive I thought I was going to black out. So good.... I pushed him down and strapped on a dildo, and fucked his ass while he stroked his cock.

It was a wonderful, amazing day, full of love and kink and Dominance and trust and just general good times. I adore my husband! :)

Moving Along...

I really love NRE. It's so awesome to be out with my new boyfriend to BDSM community events, where it's totally okay for me to be all over him in public. We hold hands most of the time, I kiss him or run my fingers over his cheek or down his arm. Touch is my primary love language, just ahead of acts of service, so I enjoy the casual shows of affection. Not to mention that while we're not shy about our relationship style and I hate being in the closet, it's certainly easier to be "out" in some places than others.

Although that does remind me of an interesting story from the other day. John and I are still close friends, even though we aren't romantic anymore. We hang out occasionally, and I was going over for the evening and decided to bring some food over. Charles works in a restaurant, so Henry and I decided to pick the food up from his place. It was rather funny stopping in and asking the hostess to go get him from the back so we could say hi when we picked up our order and he gave me a hug and a kiss in front of the employees. So- I went there with my husband to pick up food from my boyfriend to take over to my ex boyfriend's house. Life is complicated and wonderful all at once. I'm sure some of my readers would have enjoyed that situation! Keep in mind, I don't ever take my wedding rings off, either. I don't like the concept of taking them off to become someone else's woman. I'm not property and I wear my rings because they're pretty, and because I am always married, even when I'm with someone else. They're a symbol of that.

Charles and I have done some chatting about BDSM, but I knew there was an introductory workshop coming up so I held off on any real kink before I could take him to it. The workshop was really well done by very experienced presenters, and while he says he knew most of what was covered from his research, at least we knew that we were on the same page now which is definitely a good start.

And we got to spend the whole day together, which was pretty wonderful. He is a very busy man, so it's not often that he has no responsibilities for that much time. We went to the workshop, then back to his place where he cooked me a delicious dinner and spent the rest of the evening in bed. He put satin sheets on his bed in the hopes that he'd be entertaining me that night!

The NRE is still so overwhelming. I want to kiss and touch him constantly. I love the feel of his naked skin on mine. We often take it slowly when we have sex, just to keep enjoying each other and taking little breaks to stick with the caressing and less with the orgasm making. It's slow and passionate and oh so good. And then I feel his hard cock rubbing against my oh so wet and open cunt and it's hard to bite back a moan of desire.

While we haven't gotten much into the BDSM yet, now that he's been to the workshop and we have some more time to talk over things, I'm looking forward to adding more to our sex life. The dark predator in me has started to come out a little. I left his neck just covered with bite marks because I love the way he spaces out when he gets so aroused. It's hot knowing that I was the one to get him in that state! Then I grab him by the hair and pull his lips to mine for a passionate kiss... Mmm. I'm getting wet just remembering all the highlights!

His cock is just about perfect, and I've fucked one or two in my life ;)  I love the big thick cockhead that stretches my pussy so deliciously. He's got the upwards curve that I love, too, which hits my G spot when he slides his cock in and out of me. And I love that he stops, tantalizingly, in between strokes so that I get the full sensation of him spreading me open every time he slides back into me.

For now, life is sweet.

What is Love?

... baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Sorry, couldn't resist! But I wanted to write this post partly to allay the fears of some of the hotwife husbands who follow my blog.

When you experience NRE for the first time, after so many years of being in a monogamous relationship, it can be really intoxicating. It's still intoxicating for me, and I know that it's coming and about the pitfalls! So when I see men post about their concern when their wives experience NRE, that they want to put as many barriers up as they can to stop it or prevent it from occurring, it makes me wonder if they consider how destructive it can be to their marriages to behave that way.

NRE isn't real. It is, however, wonderful and passionate and overwhelming. And if you haven't felt that way in so long, it can be really hard to detach yourself from it. Established relationships just don't generally have that intensity (although they can still be pretty freaking awesome- see my last post!).

I truly believe that by putting so many obstacles in the way, then you're only hurting both yourself and your wife. Personally, if I knew that if I ever caught feels that I would have to end things with the person I was fucking, I would never do it again. Why risk heartbreak after heartbreak just for a little sex? I've got a Motorbunny- I can manage on my own just fine, thanks!

Also- what happens the time she catches feelings and doesn't want to let go? Think of the choices that she has. Either another heartbreak, or she starts lying. She has no good option to be happy. Remember that most hotwifing couples started out by the husband trying to talk the wife into it. Not all women just like to sport fuck, and even the ones who do (like me!) can also want more of a connection, too.

I also honestly don't believe that marriages are any less safe when you're monogamous than they are when you're hotwifing. It's all in your mindset. If your wife is leaving you because of NRE or a better fucking, then your marriage was already in trouble. People can form connections with coworkers or someone they meet in a coffee shop or who they sit next to on the bus. Nothing can stop someone from catching your partner's eye- that's the way the world works. What matters is how you both handle it.

Communication is so important in life. I can tell you that in my first marriage, I thought that I was communicating with my ex husband- but we really didn't. We didn't share all our thoughts and feelings. I loved him, but we didn't share that level of connection. I think that especially in alternative relationships where absolutely everything is on the table and negotiable, that people have to be ready to express their needs and wants and boundaries, and be ready to sit with difficult feelings and be able to practice emotional management. You need to be willing to be open and vulnerable with your spouse, and she needs to be willing to do the same with you. The grass grows greenest where you water it; where is most of your emotional energy going?

So, that very long digression brings me back to my title- what is love? Is it the wild passion that we feel during NRE (which can last from 6 months to 2 years depending on a lot of factors)? Is it kissing in the rain and whispering breathless sweet nothings?

It really IS possible to feel NRE with reckless abandon and keep both feet on the ground. Like I've said before, I like to throw myself into all the feels, and experience those passionate highs and amazing rushes. It's wonderful and amazing and I love every single minute of it.

But what is love? Yup- it's the mundane stuff. It's my husband bringing me a new soda when he sees me finish mine. It's him getting up on a Saturday morning to feed kiddo breakfast so I can sleep in a few minutes longer. It's us snuggled in bed watching cheesy TV shows together like we did when we were dating. It's him knowing exactly how I liked to be touched and kissed in bed. It's us staying up far too late talking at night when we should be sleeping because we are enjoying the conversation and our time together.

And I wouldn't trade it for all the passionate highs in the world. Because if you read back in my blog, you'll see I felt the same thing for Henry when we started dating. NRE doesn't last forever. You just have to be lucky enough that there is real love there when it passe- and when it does, don't let it go.

ORE Bliss

Mmm... last night was also blissful, in a different way!

I really hate the term ORE, because I don't like thinking of a relationship being old. I also don't think that my four plus years with Henry really qualifies as old. I think I prefer "established relationship energy" but it doesn't flow quite the same way, does it?

Henry and I haven't had some really good quality BDSM playtime in a while, because of health reasons. Last night we decided to go for it and have some fun, and I'm so glad that we did.

We started off with a shower together, which is a ritual of ours that I wholeheartedly enjoy. He always washes my hair for me and I enjoy the touch and intimacy. Then he went to get the toys out while I finished up- I love scalding water and he isn't quite as much of a fan as I am :)

He was waiting for me in the bedroom, kneeling naked with his collar in his outstretched hands. I buckled it around his neck and listened to the tags jingle. I told him to lie down on the bed. I locked on his wrist and ankle cuffs and put a spreader bar between his legs, and hooked the wrist cuffs to the bedposts. I love having a four poster bed! So many more options to leave him helpless at my disposal.

I have been really missing hurting him. It's part of how I show him how much I love him- the energy feeds out connection and it's so good. So we started off slowly... I clipped eighteen wooden clothespins to his balls and then smiled at him and asked how many that was. He knows me very well though, and anticipated this question. He was so close... off by just one. That meant one lovely red line across his thigh with my leather strap. Then, while I left the pins on, I played with his senses. I ran claws all over his body, and smacked him with a rabbit fur flogger that only tantalizes and teases, used a deerskin thumper, and a bear paw toy with big claws of its own. Everything to make his skin so sensitive and craving more. His cock was certainly enjoying what was going on, even when I hit it with the deerskin thumper. I added in a few smacks with the strap just to keep him on his toes and I could see his eyes glassing over.

I love watching him sink into subspace. I love listening to all the little sounds he makes when I get him really worked up and enjoying himself. I love hurting him and knowing that he is taking that pain for me, enjoying it for me. It makes me so happy and turns me on so much.

Then, I slowly started removing the pins. The safety conscious me needs to point out that if you aren't familiar with using them, to keep it to very short duration to prevent any damage. He hissed when the first one came off. Fortunately, I have two hands, so I kept up the sensory overload with the other toys while I slowly took the clothespins off.

While he moaned in pain and ecstasy, he begged me to suck his cock. Since he had been such a good boy, I decided to accommodate him- but I warned him not to even think of cumming. He was so hard that his cock must have been aching, and leaking precum all over himself. I took him all the way into my throat and he made such wonderful sounds while I dragged my tongue across the head of his cock.

But, I was only giving him a little taste :)  Time to make use of those spread legs! I put on a glove and lubed up, and slid two fingers into his tight little asshole. Henry loves prostate play and he's such a good little fucktoy for me. When I had him well lubed and warmed up, I brought out one of our new toys- a lovely, thick 11" veined cock. He loves big toys, and I love taking him as far as he can go. I strapped it on, and slowly worked it into his ass. I knew he wasn't going to last long, so I squirted some more lube onto his cock and jerked him off while I was fucking him, and soon he was begging for permission to cum. I thought about dragging it out a little, but decided to let him go and told him to cum for me. Mmm... the look on his face was wonderful!

After we were all cleaned up, it was his turn to thank me for all that wonderful attention. He could tell from the juices leaking down my thighs that I had enjoyed playing with him very much. He played with my clit and fisted my pussy and it was SO good. Orgasm after orgasm after orgasm... Then he put on a cock sheath for me and fucked my sloppy wet pussy until I exploded and squirted all over him.

Oh... it was a good night. Three amazing hours together. I'm so, so in love with my husband.

NRE Bliss

I saw Charles again last night. The NRE is blissful and overwhelming. I love losing myself in it. I've never been the kind of person who does emotions by halves- I throw myself into things wholeheartedly to squeeze out every single drop of the feels. I am greedy- I want everything all at once. All the orgasms. All the talking and intellectual connection. All the passion and intensity of a new connection. And yet part of me still wants to leapfrog ahead and hope that there's real love and familiarity and security and connection there.

But this isn't my first rodeo. I know that NRE is just catching feels. While my brain is in the throes of chemical highs, it's screaming I love you. My heart knows that it needs time before that's really a thing. I know better than to let those words escape before I really mean them. I don't say that lightly. 

I keep reminding myself to slow down and enjoy one day at a time. This relationship might not last long. And even if it does, NRE certainly doesn't. There's no need to rush because there's nowhere to rush to- it'll be there if we get there- and then I'll be missing this stage. It's not always easy to remind myself to take it easy in the brain fog! 

I have such wonderful little images floating through my mind today... all the thoughts of what we did together last night. Slow, sensual sex with lots of kisses and cuddles and touches and sounds and sighs. I get so wet for him- another bonus of the NRE. And his cock fits in me so perfectly. I can't help but moan when he rubs his bare cock up and down my pussy and against my clit. And the feel of it when he first pushes it into me is amazing- and this is coming from someone who enjoys most of the other parts of sex much more than the penis in vagina part. I love listening to him cry out my name when I tell him to cum for me, and him holding me tight and pressing his lips on mine when he fills me with his semen. 

And now I'm texting him all these dirty little thoughts when he's at work and can't do a thing about it... but he still can't stop himself from reading them. I want to make him want me as much as I want him. I want him to be distracted and walk around with a massive erection just for me when he's supposed to be doing something else. 

And tonight I'm going to fuck Henry's brains out. I'm craving an intense connection with him and I want to do all the crazy fucked up things that we both enjoy so much. Plus, I'm horny as hell!

Just Floating Along

Nothing too exciting to report, but I like to write frequently at the beginning of a relationship because I enjoy going back and reading my old posts. All those crazy feelings at the start of a new relationship don't last very long, and I enjoy going back and basking in all the feels.

I really enjoy NRE. I know that it's just chemicals with a person I like for now, and I want to get to know him better so that it isn't solely that. But I also want to slow down and take it one day at a time and enjoy every minute. NRE doesn't last forever and I love the overwhelming bits of it. I enjoy intensity. I'm totally okay with it not being real love even though that's how my brain processes it right now. It's still pretty awesome. It's like being in a little bubble where it's just the two of us.

I know a lot of people don't like NRE; they don't enjoy the brain fog and the rose coloured glasses and prefer to get through it as quickly as possible to find "normal". Then I know some people who are NRE junkies, and they skip from relationship to relationship to keep feeling all the feelings. Honestly, if they don't let people know in advance that they're only in it for the short haul, I think it's a bit unethical to do that. I wouldn't want to fall into the NRE hole with someone who was planning to leave when the crazy passion starts to die down- that's a quick trip to heartache for me. But me? I won't chase NRE. I don't want to feel it unless I'm with someone I want to keep around. And then, I want to enjoy every minute of it.

Charles and I had a date the other day, and apparently we both independently considered cancelling it. He was exhausted, and I was irritable. We both decided to try and push through it because we wanted to see each other, and I'm glad we did. We were too tired for much hanging out, so we went straight to bed. We didn't have the energy or desire for one of our long and drawn out marathon sex sessions, but we definitely had desire for each other! We had a passionate quickie, and then snuggled in bed and talked a little while we kissed and touched and held each other. I love skin on skin, and spending time cuddling with a partner is wonderful to me.

Short and simple, but perfect.

Possibilities...

Mmm... sometimes it's fun to have things a bit up in the air- so many potential fun ideas!

I am really, really going to enjoy Charles. The NRE is hitting pretty hard. While we're in bed together I hear my hormones yelling "I love you!" but the head is still firmly enough in charge to recognize that after six weeks, it's infatuation. But it is very enjoyable infatuation indeed! Those words won't be coming out of my mouth for quite some time though, and I'd have to be feeling something I consider more real than oxytocin to say them. But I figure it's always good to acknowledge how crazy NRE can make us! Any time that you have a new connection that you hit it off well with, it's important to realize that the rose coloured glasses are solidly on!

Charles filled out my personal BDSM questionnaire, where I ask for detailed information on interests not only in terms of play activities, but D/s desires, thoughts about relationships, and quite a bit more. It's long, but it's a very useful tool. And really, it's pretty sexy to share this kind of information; I find it always makes my partners feel a bit on the vulnerable side, to tell me so much about what turns them on.

And of course, it helps to have stuff in writing so that people can clarify their wants and needs, and current potential interests. It's also fun to go back to it after time has passed to see how much has changed! Of course, discussions always remain open, but this is a good place to start.

Several of the things he wrote on the questionnaire seem like they are going to be delicious fun. I told him that I knew he was waiting for me to take the lead, and that I wasn't going to until we negotiated more explicitly. So this has been a good way to step up our activities a little!

We had such amazing sex the other night. Henry had asked if we wanted to hang out afterwards and I had said sure, about an hour? Apparently my sense of time is off a bit- we've been more like 2-3 hours every instance! I'm okay losing time like that :) 

Charles genuinely enjoys giving pleasure, and that's what makes me feel so positive about our relationship. He is coming from a place of wanting to serve- not that he doesn't want to get his own, but he definitely seems happy to give me what I want first. I sucked his big beautiful cock until he was almost painfully hard, and then gave him a naughty grin and told him to make me happy. He was leaking cum all over my thigh while he licked and fingered my wet cunt, and then used my favourite Bad Dragon dildo on me. No rush, no urgency... just so much slow pleasure and enjoying each other.

When I finally told him to slide his cock into my pussy, I was aching for him. He loves kissing me passionately while his cock is inside me, and I love how it keeps me focused in the moment, all the delicious sensations I'm feeling. We fucked for a while and stopped after I had a few orgasms, and went back to teasing and stroking and licking each other- just to keep him on the edge that much longer.

Soon he was begging to cum, and I told him to fuck me hard, while I grabbed him by the hair and pulled his mouth to mine. His cock always feels so amazing and my pussy feels so full around him when he's pounding me hard! It was so sexy to hear him cry out my name when he filled me with his cum. Some things will never stop being hot.

Can't wait to see him again soon :)

Corrupting the Innocent

So last night Charles and I made it official, that we are boyfriend and girlfriend. It's a little thing and labels don't change anything- but it feels good. I like knowing that we are both on the same page with how we're feeling about each other. I'm feeling pretty darn good about the whole thing :)

I took him to a local BDSM get together yesterday, and we had a lot of fun. I showed off my new boy toy to all my friends. Did my best to embarrass him a little, too, by calling him my sex toy. Henry doesn't embarrass at all, so this was delightful!

It was really hot at the bar last night, and one of my friends had handheld fans. She loaned me one so I wouldn't swelter and she was about to hand it to me and then she laughed and handed it to Charles. He was a good sport too- kept a nice breeze going for most of the evening. I did warn him that people were going to make assumptions if he was there with me :)  Our friends know that I don't switch.

Charles and I haven't been engaging in BDSM yet, but he's been interested in dipping his toes in. We just haven't done any kind of formal negotiation yet. Sometimes I think that surprises people about me; I don't just immediately take charge because I believe that has to be something consensually negotiated. But when people see I'm Dominant, they think that means I'm going to make all the decisions right off the bat. But how can I know that I'm making the right decisions for both of us, until I get to know my partner and their likes, dislikes, and boundaries? I prefer to do things this way.

After the get together, we went back to his place and met his roommates. That was a bit of a change! It's been a while since I had to deal with anyone's roommates unless you count a spouse. But I guess that's what happens when I cougar it up a little, LOL. They seem nice enough, although they were teasing him about having to give him some space so he could "bang his girlfriend". I told them not to worry, they'll be able to hear me no matter how much space they give him! I'm not shy and figured I might as well set a precedent!

It was a good night. Hot sweaty sex in his bed, followed by the walk of pride past the roommates' doors, for Henry to be waiting outside to bring me home. He had been enjoying some personal time himself and texted me dirty pictures of him playing, and when we got home my hand might have wandered a little and got him hard for the third time that day. It didn't take much to get him to fuck my dripping pussy hard and fill me with yet another load.

I love being a dirty little slut :)  A very happy, well satisfied slut.

Whew!

Well, it has been one hot August... and not just the outside temperature! I've been really happy lately and I'm glad that life has slowed down enough for me to get back to exploring my sexuality. It wasn't fun having to put it on the shelf for as long as I did, but I still think it was the right choice at the time. But now? The leash is off, baby!

I've really been enjoying my time with Charles, and he's making a point to show me how much he's been enjoying being with me. We've been seeing each other twice a week, which has been a good amount to build our connection and continue getting to know each other. It helps that Henry likes him, too, and he seems to like or at least get along with Henry. We've hung out as a group a couple of times, which I've enjoyed. It was awesome sitting at the dining room table and chatting, and the two of them each took one of my hands. Made me feel really good :)  I am more than okay being shared!

And visions of bareback threesomes dance through my head... because who am I kidding, I might be polyamorous, but in the end, it nearly always comes down to sex for me. I've never liked how a lot of poly people deemphasize sex so much. I'm pretty sure it's to differentiate themselves more from the swingers or other nonmonogamous practitioners, but I'm rather of the opinion that it's silly to shove another group out from under the umbrella just because you do things a little differently. Alternative relationships are all awesome, as long as everything is consensual and everyone is happy with how it's going. You do you, right? And you define those parameters yourself! It's why I consider myself to be both open and poly- I like to have the freedom to connect with people in any way happens to work for me/us, from a one night stand to a long term romantic relationship.

But, I digress! Sex for me is definitely an important part of how I connect with someone, although the way I do it varies depending on my energy with the person. Do I sport fuck? Absolutely. Those of you who have been reading for a while know that I love the occasional random hookup with a stranger because it's fun and pleasurable. Am I bonding with that person? Nope; I likely never want to see them again, unless they were really good and not weird/clingy. Do I fuck friends? Also absolutely. In that case, it's just a fun physical activity between people who like each other. I'd almost say it's not that much different from other BDSM play, at least to me. It is fun, but generally doesn't deepen our connection or enhance intimacy- it's just an enjoyable activity with someone whom I am already connected in at least some way to. Then, of course, there's sex in the context of a romantic relationship, where it does enhance intimacy and connection and bonding... all those delightful chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin which just don't come out otherwise. So in a romantic relationship, I absolutely need regular sex to keep my intimate connection with someone. Think of me like the quote typical man unquote who needs sex to feel love. So sex is a big part of my intimate connection, and I'm totally okay with needing it. It's one reason I would never be happy with a primary partner who wanted to be totally cuckolded or not allowed to fuck me- I need the fucking, and people are not interchangeable.

Charles hasn't seemed to be coming over just for fun times, which I appreciate (despite liking the fun times). I already wrote about how he had wanted to wait to have sex, and in hindsight I am glad that we did, although I wouldn't go out of my way to do that in the future. But every relationship is different, and I think this worked well for us. He's hung out with me on a night I was too tired to have sex and we still had fun, and then this past week he offered to help us move some new furniture that we got. Henry and I got a new bedroom set as a wedding gift, and it is gorgeous- a solid wood four poster bed (that he is going to adjust into a bondage bed, squee!), and matching nightstands and dressers. So really, really heavy! And Charles and Henry did the heavy lifting and worked together to make my bedroom an awesomely happy place for me.

And the best part? After everything was all put in place, of course I had to show Charles I was grateful to him for his help, right? ;)  So I took him upstairs and we christened that new bed for three hours. So glad to have a headboard now!

They Woke The Dragon

So, given how busy I've been over the last year and a half or so, which I guess is obvious by the lack of entries in this blog, I think it was also obvious that my sex drive was way down. I just didn't have the time to focus on sex or BDSM or anything.

And now, my libido is totally out of control. I am thinking about sex constantly. I want one or both of them on me, in me, kissing and licking and touching me all over. My pussy is nearly always aching to be filled, that need for more. I am insatiable. They really woke up the dragon this time! The more sex I have, the more I want.

Charles came over the other night and we spent nearly three hours in bed exploring and kissing and touching each other, learning how we like things and how to please each other. It was SO good. And now that we've got the go ahead to fuck without condoms (we did STI testing), we did that. His cock is amazing- it's nice and large but not too big, girthy, and it has this lovely flared head that stretches my pussy around it and feels oh so good. It's got a slight upwards curve too so he can hit those delicious spots deep inside my cunt. I don't normally orgasm from penetration only, but he definitely has a chance at that sometime! And he came in me, which felt so good.

And of course, Henry wanted me as soon as Charles left, so he got to enjoy the silky seconds. I've noticed that Henry has become more passionate with me, more focused on pleasing me, and his sex drive is definitely up. I told him that I think I see his competitive side coming out! He hadn't consciously realized it. I'm totally okay with it, though! I told him that one of us will wind up tapping out, but it's not going to be me ;)  He joked that then he'll be texting Charles to come over and finish the job! We've already had sex twice since then and I'm raring for another round...

Kiddo is away this week visiting my family, so I have the feeling clothing is not going to be worn much in the house for the next little while!

The Antithesis to #Married Sex

... is also married sex :)

Sometimes having a partner who knows you so well, and knows exactly how to touch your body to make you feel so much pleasure is the most amazing thing ever. Someone you have complete trust in, and all the love.

Oh.My.God. Henry pulled out all the stops yesterday. First he fed my love languages by running all our errands in the morning. When I woke up, he cooked me a wonderful breakfast, naked. I have always adored naked partners doing chores! Then in the evening, he took me upstairs for the best sex we've had in a long, long time.

He knows exactly how to push my buttons to make me feel so good. And I love making him happy in return. Mutual bliss is wonderful- and no anxiety about anything. Just relax and enjoy.

Two hours of intimacy and sensuality mixed with screaming orgasms and the heights of pleasure. While I love sex with new and interesting people, and NRE gives the chills and desire like no other- nothing will ever top amazing sex with a partner I love.

I've been reading a lot online, and what strikes me over and over is how so many people worry that if they expose their vulnerabilities to their partners, that they won't be loved, or that they will get hurt. My first reaction is that hopefully they aren't sharing themselves with people like that, because wouldn't you rather know than not? Trust does take time to grow and make sure you're safe... but I feel like it must be very difficult for love to grow without being able to connect like that.

And I feel so lucky to have Henry, because he's seen me at my absolute worst (at least I hope it doesn't get worse than that!). And he still loves me and wants to be with me. I can let my freak flag fly. I can be clingy and needy when I need to be (fortunately, not often). I can share my dark humour and he will laugh with me. I can just be myself, and I am loved for it. I have a level of comfort and security that I've never had with anyone else in my whole life. I love him so much. I hope I make him as happy as he makes me :)

But damn, I think he's going to be complaining about the laundry soon because my sex drive has been kicked into overdrive, and that means a lot of sheet changing! I woke up at 6am dying to fuck again, but figured he probably wouldn't appreciate that ;)  I see Charles tonight though, so hopefully he can help me with that!

Musings

Well, I've been feeling pretty thinky again, so looks like this blog is back to being active again, at least for now!

I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I define a relationship. So I'm going to open this one to the gallery before I share my thoughts- how do you define a romantic relationship? What makes it different than a friends with benefits type connection? And before you say love, let's assume this is before love develops, so in the early stages.

For that matter, how do you define love? Here I definitely have had some arguments with people who have differing definitions! I know someone who wants to expand love to just about anything- including how she feels if she has a one time fling on vacation! To me, if I want lasagna, I don't order "pasta"; I tell someone exactly what I want. If you broaden words to make the definition too wide, they cease to be useful in communication. I also feel that it's almost disrespectful to serious romantic relationships to use the same word for lust or NRE or any other short lived form of excitement. What do you think?

Charles came over again the other night, making this date #4. We hung out for a while and did other activities that we mutually enjoy, before the sexual tension started to build and this time he was ready to come upstairs with me. I don't know how long we were in the bedroom... it didn't feel like very long but I get the impression a lot of time passed! It was so good.

And of course, I adore partners who love licking cunt! He told me that he loves the way my pussy tastes, and no woman ever dislikes hearing that. I think it's probably something that most of us are sensitive about, and since Henry is much more a fan of using his fingers than his mouth, I suppose a little part of me was anxious about how Charles would enjoy me. But oh, enjoy me he did! His face was coated with pussy juice when he finally came up for air. I had some lovely, almost relaxing orgasms.

The first time with someone new is always a bit about feeling them out, seeing what they like and how you fit together. Sex with everyone is a little different, and it's fun exploring their body and all the nuances.

I'm looking forward to seeing Charles again soon :)   He's been on my mind a lot lately- NRE in full force I think! It's funny how early it hits- I didn't realize it would be so soon. I thought you kinda had to get hooked on someone before it started crazymaking. But, I'm going to enjoy the ride while it lasts...

Third Time's A Charm

While I don't really believe in "kitchen table" polyamory, where all parties sit down together and hang out and discuss things, I do think it's important for everyone to at least meet each other. First of all, for those who are newer to poly, meeting your partner's partner can help alleviate some of the concern. This is a real person with their own flaws and foibles, not some supermodel scientist who is amazing at everything! Secondly, the newer partner will likely appreciate meeting yours, so that they get confirmation that everything is above board and they aren't going to have an angry husband chasing them with a machete!

So, Charles came over the other night, and Henry made dinner for us all and we hung out for a bit. Nothing too exciting there, just a little getting-to-know-you, before Henry decided to bow out and give us a little privacy. I think during NRE (new relationship energy) it's especially important to do stuff one on one and not as a group, so that the new relationship can find its own ground. And Henry is a sweetie, and he agrees with that :)  Remember that while we totally enjoy casual sex with people, both together and on our own, we're also poly and don't believe that feelings threaten our connection. My feelings for someone else have nothing to do with my love and respect and desire for Henry, and he knows that. And sex is so much better with someone you have feelings for!

Usually, any way- I don't have any specifics with Charles yet! He told me that he's sapiosexual, and that he wants to get to know me better because he doesn't enjoy sex for sex's sake- he prefers to have it when he's connected with someone. While I can enjoy casual sex, it's pretty compartmentalized for me. I don't feel romantic with someone unless we are developing an intimate connection, either. So we've been putting more focus into getting to know each other and haven't fucked yet.

I have to admit that it's been interesting. I'm much more a sex on the first date kind of woman, if I like the person, so having three dates with someone and still not getting naked with them is a first for me. I wonder how it will change my experience when we finally do have sex. I'm looking forward to finding out, though!

We wound up spending a good chunk of the evening on my couch making out like teenagers. Kissing, nibbling, licking, touching, and talking to each other somewhat distractedly, but drunk on arousal. I know he wants me- his cock has made that very clear! And my panties were so wet after he left that they could practically stand up by themselves! I have to admit that I've really enjoyed the focus on kissing, though. I love passionate kisses. I am definitely an oral sort of person, and Henry isn't into kissing as much as I am. So having some extra time to enjoy that has been good.

He's also been very chatty with me by text, since I told him that's how I like to get to know someone. So far, everything's green, and I'm having a wonderful time. Can't wait to see him again :)

#MarriedSex

While Henry and I usually have zomg amazingly hot sex, some nights are just so comical that I can't stop from cracking up. It's wonderful to have a husband who I can totally be myself with, but sometimes I think we let things slip just a wee bit too far in the name of familiarity.

So, one of the reasons why I like having other sex partners? Maybe just a teensy bit more romance and passion and a little less comedy!

Without further ado, my last night with Henry.

We're lying in bed watching TV, and he leans forward to paw at my breasts, as he often does idly. Just one of those irritating little things, I suppose, but we both do it (he has nipple rings I love to twiddle with!). Then he pinched one of my nipples and looked at me sort of expectantly.

S: Are you trying to have sex with me?

H: Yup.

S: So... that's how you're going to initiate things?

H: Uh huh.

By now, we're both just cracking up at the totally ridiculous situation.

S: You're not even going to just ask me? Or how about a little romance?

H: OK. My dear wife, would you like to have sex?

S: *glares* OK. But I deserve better than this.

H: But there will be cookies afterwards!

S: So I should lie back and think of cookies?

H: I hope not. But just think of it as a little bonus!

S: If that's how you're going to try and have sex with me, I might need the bonus.

H: Oh, I'm gonna make you feel good.

S: You always do.

We put on some porn, grab the toys and lube and towels, and start kissing and cuddling. We usually leave porn on for some sexy background noise and only really half watch it, but it's nice to have. Listening to other people's moans and orgasms is great music!

S: Do you want to use a butt plug while I suck your cock?

H: No, probably not a good idea today. We had the beans with dinner.

S: You'd better not fart on my face.

Isn't it so sexy and romantic? How could I possibly want to have sex with anyone else??

Of course, we did get into it and have a great time and snuggled afterwards. But it was pretty funny!

Ask A Hotwife Anything!

All right everyone, so I suspect I lost a lot of readership over the past two years when I haven't been posting much. I can't say I blame y'all for not being around when there hasn't been anything to read!

But I'd like to rebuild my blog following, because it's fun to know that people are following my stories.

So... Give me a little love. For the next week, anyone can ask me a question in the comments. Please nothing that would violate my privacy, but otherwise I will answer ANYTHING you ask me, honestly, to the best of my ability.

Please give me a signal boost and spread this post around- the more comments, the more you'll know about me ;)  Anyone who posts a link to this post and shows me, gets an extra question!

Back on the Market

So, apparently real life has definitely gotten into the way of me writing! My apologies- if anyone is still reading, I plan on checking in more often. Although of course we know how plans go!

I'm back from our honeymoon, and it was lovely. Lots of relaxing, and hot sex. I considered trying to find someone to hook up with, but ultimately it was going to be too complicated and so I just focused my energy on Henry. After all, there's no rush :)

I really miss that Craigslist is gone now. That was my preferred place to find someone for just a quick casual booty call. Most of the apps out there now are all picture based, and that just doesn't work for me. I want to get to know the contents, not the package.

So, I've been doing a bunch of chatting on OKCupid. Some talks just felt like passing time with no real spark, and then there are others that jump out at me a little more. I'm not visually motivated the way a lot of people are- I consider myself sapiosexual. One of these days I'm going to have to try and figure out what about a profile attracts me like that, where I can feel that one might be a thing and one is less so, before I even chat with someone.

Last week I went out for dinner with Charles, poly but single, and we had a good time. After dinner, we wound up sitting and chatting outside for hours. It was a really good connection. He's totally vanilla, no kink experience at all, and wants to take things slow. I'm OK with that :)

We texted a little after our date, mostly just getting to know you stuff. Last night he came over and we hung out on the patio and did some hot tubbing and watched the meteors (Perseids are peaking this weekend, by the way!). It was a really good time that I didn't want to end. He didn't leave until nearly 3am, after we kissed in the moonlight. He made sure I knew how attracted he is to me by pressing his erection against my stomach. When we pulled away, my head was a big foggy from being so tired and aroused- I had heat and thrills running through my body all the way to my pussy. I'm not used to just making out anymore!

Our next date is on Tuesday, if we don't get together before then. I really like him, and I get the feeling that he might be around for a while :)

Part of me kind of likes the uncertainty. While I love the familiarity of being with Henry, I like the wondering and imagining of what it will be like with someone new. I like the feel and smell of someone new. I'm not sure if we will have sex on Tuesday, although I think it's likely. But I'm okay with it either way if it means we're both enjoying each other.

Where Did The Time Go???

Wow. I had no idea it has been so long since I've posted here! Seriously, I have had no social life for most of the last year and a half. Things have been insanely busy! I hope to start posting again now that I have some free time in my calendar (although I am disappointed that Craigslist Casual Encounters is gone; where will I go for a quick pussy licking??).

But, I am happy to say, that this past weekend I became a hotwife again! Happily married to Henry and looking forward to continuing our adventures together.

We are honeymooning in July, and I can't wait!