Whew!

Well, it has been one hot August... and not just the outside temperature! I've been really happy lately and I'm glad that life has slowed down enough for me to get back to exploring my sexuality. It wasn't fun having to put it on the shelf for as long as I did, but I still think it was the right choice at the time. But now? The leash is off, baby!

I've really been enjoying my time with Charles, and he's making a point to show me how much he's been enjoying being with me. We've been seeing each other twice a week, which has been a good amount to build our connection and continue getting to know each other. It helps that Henry likes him, too, and he seems to like or at least get along with Henry. We've hung out as a group a couple of times, which I've enjoyed. It was awesome sitting at the dining room table and chatting, and the two of them each took one of my hands. Made me feel really good :)  I am more than okay being shared!

And visions of bareback threesomes dance through my head... because who am I kidding, I might be polyamorous, but in the end, it nearly always comes down to sex for me. I've never liked how a lot of poly people deemphasize sex so much. I'm pretty sure it's to differentiate themselves more from the swingers or other nonmonogamous practitioners, but I'm rather of the opinion that it's silly to shove another group out from under the umbrella just because you do things a little differently. Alternative relationships are all awesome, as long as everything is consensual and everyone is happy with how it's going. You do you, right? And you define those parameters yourself! It's why I consider myself to be both open and poly- I like to have the freedom to connect with people in any way happens to work for me/us, from a one night stand to a long term romantic relationship.

But, I digress! Sex for me is definitely an important part of how I connect with someone, although the way I do it varies depending on my energy with the person. Do I sport fuck? Absolutely. Those of you who have been reading for a while know that I love the occasional random hookup with a stranger because it's fun and pleasurable. Am I bonding with that person? Nope; I likely never want to see them again, unless they were really good and not weird/clingy. Do I fuck friends? Also absolutely. In that case, it's just a fun physical activity between people who like each other. I'd almost say it's not that much different from other BDSM play, at least to me. It is fun, but generally doesn't deepen our connection or enhance intimacy- it's just an enjoyable activity with someone whom I am already connected in at least some way to. Then, of course, there's sex in the context of a romantic relationship, where it does enhance intimacy and connection and bonding... all those delightful chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin which just don't come out otherwise. So in a romantic relationship, I absolutely need regular sex to keep my intimate connection with someone. Think of me like the quote typical man unquote who needs sex to feel love. So sex is a big part of my intimate connection, and I'm totally okay with needing it. It's one reason I would never be happy with a primary partner who wanted to be totally cuckolded or not allowed to fuck me- I need the fucking, and people are not interchangeable.

Charles hasn't seemed to be coming over just for fun times, which I appreciate (despite liking the fun times). I already wrote about how he had wanted to wait to have sex, and in hindsight I am glad that we did, although I wouldn't go out of my way to do that in the future. But every relationship is different, and I think this worked well for us. He's hung out with me on a night I was too tired to have sex and we still had fun, and then this past week he offered to help us move some new furniture that we got. Henry and I got a new bedroom set as a wedding gift, and it is gorgeous- a solid wood four poster bed (that he is going to adjust into a bondage bed, squee!), and matching nightstands and dressers. So really, really heavy! And Charles and Henry did the heavy lifting and worked together to make my bedroom an awesomely happy place for me.

And the best part? After everything was all put in place, of course I had to show Charles I was grateful to him for his help, right? ;)  So I took him upstairs and we christened that new bed for three hours. So glad to have a headboard now!

They Woke The Dragon

So, given how busy I've been over the last year and a half or so, which I guess is obvious by the lack of entries in this blog, I think it was also obvious that my sex drive was way down. I just didn't have the time to focus on sex or BDSM or anything.

And now, my libido is totally out of control. I am thinking about sex constantly. I want one or both of them on me, in me, kissing and licking and touching me all over. My pussy is nearly always aching to be filled, that need for more. I am insatiable. They really woke up the dragon this time! The more sex I have, the more I want.

Charles came over the other night and we spent nearly three hours in bed exploring and kissing and touching each other, learning how we like things and how to please each other. It was SO good. And now that we've got the go ahead to fuck without condoms (we did STI testing), we did that. His cock is amazing- it's nice and large but not too big, girthy, and it has this lovely flared head that stretches my pussy around it and feels oh so good. It's got a slight upwards curve too so he can hit those delicious spots deep inside my cunt. I don't normally orgasm from penetration only, but he definitely has a chance at that sometime! And he came in me, which felt so good.

And of course, Henry wanted me as soon as Charles left, so he got to enjoy the silky seconds. I've noticed that Henry has become more passionate with me, more focused on pleasing me, and his sex drive is definitely up. I told him that I think I see his competitive side coming out! He hadn't consciously realized it. I'm totally okay with it, though! I told him that one of us will wind up tapping out, but it's not going to be me ;)  He joked that then he'll be texting Charles to come over and finish the job! We've already had sex twice since then and I'm raring for another round...

Kiddo is away this week visiting my family, so I have the feeling clothing is not going to be worn much in the house for the next little while!

The Antithesis to #Married Sex

... is also married sex :)

Sometimes having a partner who knows you so well, and knows exactly how to touch your body to make you feel so much pleasure is the most amazing thing ever. Someone you have complete trust in, and all the love.

Oh.My.God. Henry pulled out all the stops yesterday. First he fed my love languages by running all our errands in the morning. When I woke up, he cooked me a wonderful breakfast, naked. I have always adored naked partners doing chores! Then in the evening, he took me upstairs for the best sex we've had in a long, long time.

He knows exactly how to push my buttons to make me feel so good. And I love making him happy in return. Mutual bliss is wonderful- and no anxiety about anything. Just relax and enjoy.

Two hours of intimacy and sensuality mixed with screaming orgasms and the heights of pleasure. While I love sex with new and interesting people, and NRE gives the chills and desire like no other- nothing will ever top amazing sex with a partner I love.

I've been reading a lot online, and what strikes me over and over is how so many people worry that if they expose their vulnerabilities to their partners, that they won't be loved, or that they will get hurt. My first reaction is that hopefully they aren't sharing themselves with people like that, because wouldn't you rather know than not? Trust does take time to grow and make sure you're safe... but I feel like it must be very difficult for love to grow without being able to connect like that.

And I feel so lucky to have Henry, because he's seen me at my absolute worst (at least I hope it doesn't get worse than that!). And he still loves me and wants to be with me. I can let my freak flag fly. I can be clingy and needy when I need to be (fortunately, not often). I can share my dark humour and he will laugh with me. I can just be myself, and I am loved for it. I have a level of comfort and security that I've never had with anyone else in my whole life. I love him so much. I hope I make him as happy as he makes me :)

But damn, I think he's going to be complaining about the laundry soon because my sex drive has been kicked into overdrive, and that means a lot of sheet changing! I woke up at 6am dying to fuck again, but figured he probably wouldn't appreciate that ;)  I see Charles tonight though, so hopefully he can help me with that!

Musings

Well, I've been feeling pretty thinky again, so looks like this blog is back to being active again, at least for now!

I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I define a relationship. So I'm going to open this one to the gallery before I share my thoughts- how do you define a romantic relationship? What makes it different than a friends with benefits type connection? And before you say love, let's assume this is before love develops, so in the early stages.

For that matter, how do you define love? Here I definitely have had some arguments with people who have differing definitions! I know someone who wants to expand love to just about anything- including how she feels if she has a one time fling on vacation! To me, if I want lasagna, I don't order "pasta"; I tell someone exactly what I want. If you broaden words to make the definition too wide, they cease to be useful in communication. I also feel that it's almost disrespectful to serious romantic relationships to use the same word for lust or NRE or any other short lived form of excitement. What do you think?

Charles came over again the other night, making this date #4. We hung out for a while and did other activities that we mutually enjoy, before the sexual tension started to build and this time he was ready to come upstairs with me. I don't know how long we were in the bedroom... it didn't feel like very long but I get the impression a lot of time passed! It was so good.

And of course, I adore partners who love licking cunt! He told me that he loves the way my pussy tastes, and no woman ever dislikes hearing that. I think it's probably something that most of us are sensitive about, and since Henry is much more a fan of using his fingers than his mouth, I suppose a little part of me was anxious about how Charles would enjoy me. But oh, enjoy me he did! His face was coated with pussy juice when he finally came up for air. I had some lovely, almost relaxing orgasms.

The first time with someone new is always a bit about feeling them out, seeing what they like and how you fit together. Sex with everyone is a little different, and it's fun exploring their body and all the nuances.

I'm looking forward to seeing Charles again soon :)   He's been on my mind a lot lately- NRE in full force I think! It's funny how early it hits- I didn't realize it would be so soon. I thought you kinda had to get hooked on someone before it started crazymaking. But, I'm going to enjoy the ride while it lasts...

Third Time's A Charm

While I don't really believe in "kitchen table" polyamory, where all parties sit down together and hang out and discuss things, I do think it's important for everyone to at least meet each other. First of all, for those who are newer to poly, meeting your partner's partner can help alleviate some of the concern. This is a real person with their own flaws and foibles, not some supermodel scientist who is amazing at everything! Secondly, the newer partner will likely appreciate meeting yours, so that they get confirmation that everything is above board and they aren't going to have an angry husband chasing them with a machete!

So, Charles came over the other night, and Henry made dinner for us all and we hung out for a bit. Nothing too exciting there, just a little getting-to-know-you, before Henry decided to bow out and give us a little privacy. I think during NRE (new relationship energy) it's especially important to do stuff one on one and not as a group, so that the new relationship can find its own ground. And Henry is a sweetie, and he agrees with that :)  Remember that while we totally enjoy casual sex with people, both together and on our own, we're also poly and don't believe that feelings threaten our connection. My feelings for someone else have nothing to do with my love and respect and desire for Henry, and he knows that. And sex is so much better with someone you have feelings for!

Usually, any way- I don't have any specifics with Charles yet! He told me that he's sapiosexual, and that he wants to get to know me better because he doesn't enjoy sex for sex's sake- he prefers to have it when he's connected with someone. While I can enjoy casual sex, it's pretty compartmentalized for me. I don't feel romantic with someone unless we are developing an intimate connection, either. So we've been putting more focus into getting to know each other and haven't fucked yet.

I have to admit that it's been interesting. I'm much more a sex on the first date kind of woman, if I like the person, so having three dates with someone and still not getting naked with them is a first for me. I wonder how it will change my experience when we finally do have sex. I'm looking forward to finding out, though!

We wound up spending a good chunk of the evening on my couch making out like teenagers. Kissing, nibbling, licking, touching, and talking to each other somewhat distractedly, but drunk on arousal. I know he wants me- his cock has made that very clear! And my panties were so wet after he left that they could practically stand up by themselves! I have to admit that I've really enjoyed the focus on kissing, though. I love passionate kisses. I am definitely an oral sort of person, and Henry isn't into kissing as much as I am. So having some extra time to enjoy that has been good.

He's also been very chatty with me by text, since I told him that's how I like to get to know someone. So far, everything's green, and I'm having a wonderful time. Can't wait to see him again :)

#MarriedSex

While Henry and I usually have zomg amazingly hot sex, some nights are just so comical that I can't stop from cracking up. It's wonderful to have a husband who I can totally be myself with, but sometimes I think we let things slip just a wee bit too far in the name of familiarity.

So, one of the reasons why I like having other sex partners? Maybe just a teensy bit more romance and passion and a little less comedy!

Without further ado, my last night with Henry.

We're lying in bed watching TV, and he leans forward to paw at my breasts, as he often does idly. Just one of those irritating little things, I suppose, but we both do it (he has nipple rings I love to twiddle with!). Then he pinched one of my nipples and looked at me sort of expectantly.

S: Are you trying to have sex with me?

H: Yup.

S: So... that's how you're going to initiate things?

H: Uh huh.

By now, we're both just cracking up at the totally ridiculous situation.

S: You're not even going to just ask me? Or how about a little romance?

H: OK. My dear wife, would you like to have sex?

S: *glares* OK. But I deserve better than this.

H: But there will be cookies afterwards!

S: So I should lie back and think of cookies?

H: I hope not. But just think of it as a little bonus!

S: If that's how you're going to try and have sex with me, I might need the bonus.

H: Oh, I'm gonna make you feel good.

S: You always do.

We put on some porn, grab the toys and lube and towels, and start kissing and cuddling. We usually leave porn on for some sexy background noise and only really half watch it, but it's nice to have. Listening to other people's moans and orgasms is great music!

S: Do you want to use a butt plug while I suck your cock?

H: No, probably not a good idea today. We had the beans with dinner.

S: You'd better not fart on my face.

Isn't it so sexy and romantic? How could I possibly want to have sex with anyone else??

Of course, we did get into it and have a great time and snuggled afterwards. But it was pretty funny!

Ask A Hotwife Anything!

All right everyone, so I suspect I lost a lot of readership over the past two years when I haven't been posting much. I can't say I blame y'all for not being around when there hasn't been anything to read!

But I'd like to rebuild my blog following, because it's fun to know that people are following my stories.

So... Give me a little love. For the next week, anyone can ask me a question in the comments. Please nothing that would violate my privacy, but otherwise I will answer ANYTHING you ask me, honestly, to the best of my ability.

Please give me a signal boost and spread this post around- the more comments, the more you'll know about me ;)  Anyone who posts a link to this post and shows me, gets an extra question!

Back on the Market

So, apparently real life has definitely gotten into the way of me writing! My apologies- if anyone is still reading, I plan on checking in more often. Although of course we know how plans go!

I'm back from our honeymoon, and it was lovely. Lots of relaxing, and hot sex. I considered trying to find someone to hook up with, but ultimately it was going to be too complicated and so I just focused my energy on Henry. After all, there's no rush :)

I really miss that Craigslist is gone now. That was my preferred place to find someone for just a quick casual booty call. Most of the apps out there now are all picture based, and that just doesn't work for me. I want to get to know the contents, not the package.

So, I've been doing a bunch of chatting on OKCupid. Some talks just felt like passing time with no real spark, and then there are others that jump out at me a little more. I'm not visually motivated the way a lot of people are- I consider myself sapiosexual. One of these days I'm going to have to try and figure out what about a profile attracts me like that, where I can feel that one might be a thing and one is less so, before I even chat with someone.

Last week I went out for dinner with Charles, poly but single, and we had a good time. After dinner, we wound up sitting and chatting outside for hours. It was a really good connection. He's totally vanilla, no kink experience at all, and wants to take things slow. I'm OK with that :)

We texted a little after our date, mostly just getting to know you stuff. Last night he came over and we hung out on the patio and did some hot tubbing and watched the meteors (Perseids are peaking this weekend, by the way!). It was a really good time that I didn't want to end. He didn't leave until nearly 3am, after we kissed in the moonlight. He made sure I knew how attracted he is to me by pressing his erection against my stomach. When we pulled away, my head was a big foggy from being so tired and aroused- I had heat and thrills running through my body all the way to my pussy. I'm not used to just making out anymore!

Our next date is on Tuesday, if we don't get together before then. I really like him, and I get the feeling that he might be around for a while :)

Part of me kind of likes the uncertainty. While I love the familiarity of being with Henry, I like the wondering and imagining of what it will be like with someone new. I like the feel and smell of someone new. I'm not sure if we will have sex on Tuesday, although I think it's likely. But I'm okay with it either way if it means we're both enjoying each other.