Why Be Married?

I've been thinking about this topic for a while, especially since a comment on a forum about nonmonogamy brought it to the forefront of my mind. And with my anniversary with Henry just past, it felt like a good time to talk about it.

Although before I get into that- our anniversary was wonderful. We spent three days focused primarily on each other, with lots of play and love and sharing our favourite treats. Despite all the bumps in the road, I'd do it all again if it meant being with Henry. He is a wonderful partner and I truly feel like he loves and accepts and appreciates me for who I am- not who he wants me to be. And I think he sees me pretty clearly, too. And, y'know, I do like him- most of the time! It's one of our running jokes that's the best you can get in a long term relationship. I'll take it :)

So, why even be married if you are going to have sex and relationships with other people? What's the point? I've heard this from monogamous people over and over again. Or for that matter, from swingers who understand the sexual variety but not the relationships.

What is a marriage? Is it only about sex? Is it only about love? I think this is a question that we all have to answer for ourselves. What does your marriage (or in general if you're not married) mean to you?

Sex with others, or love with others, doesn't cheapen my marriage in any way. I married Henry not only because I love him, not only because I like to have sex with him- but because I want to build a life with him. He doesn't check all the boxes but who does? That's a beyond unrealistic expectation. I know I don't check all his either. But that's not the point. The point is that we want to grow old together and be life partners. We not only love each other, but we choose each other every single day. We share love and passion, tears, anger, and everything on the spectrum. He's my best friend, and I'm his.

I'm not even sure why the sexual fidelity has come to play such a large role in relationships, other than the concern in the past for men having to raise others' children unwittingly. I don't know why sex has become so strongly correlated with love in Western society, when so many other cultures have other norms about sex.

To me, marriage isn't just about a legal agreement. It's not just about who you fuck. And it's not just about children, or security, or couple's privilege. It may be about all those things, but to me it's something more. It says to me, I want to share this journey with you. I love you and accept you for who you are now, knowing that we will both grow and change over the years. It says to me, I will make sacrifices for you as you make them for me, because our relationship has intrinsic value and we want to invest in it and each other.

So I will never vow to Henry that there will be no others; quite the contrary, I have promised him there always will be. But he knows that whatever connections I build with others do not take away from what I have with him. So why did I want to marry him? Because he's become the person in this world that I can trust to always have my back (and to point out when he thinks I am wrong, to boot), to know the innermost secrets of my heart, and to support me to reach my goals.

Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband... I love you, and even though things haven't always been easy, I'd take that road again if it means it would lead me to you. Here's to many more years of happiness together.

Anniversary Plans

It's hard to believe how quickly time flies- next week, Henry and I will have been married for a year! Doesn't feel like the time has gone by that quickly, although maybe some of that is just being happy that we don't have to plan a wedding anymore! ;)

I don't think I've been this happy in a long, long time, and Henry is a major part of that. His love languages are Acts of Service and Physical Touch, and he's been using them to show me how much he loves me. I see it every time I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do- and he does it for me. I see it when we snuggle in bed together every night and he can't keep his hands off me- even if we're not going to have sex. And he shows me every day when he gives me a kiss before he leaves the house and tells me he loves me. I'm a very lucky woman.

We decided just to have a low key anniversary together this year. We're going to a BDSM party on the weekend to celebrate with our friends, which should be pretty awesome. I haven't decided yet how I want to play with him, but I definitely want to do something special to show him how much I love him. We are definitely going to enjoy each other!

Then on our actual anniversary, we're going to have a bottle of champagne that we saved from our reception, and have a round of Brie and some fresh baked sourdough. I am such a cheese addict and this is one of our favorite special date activities. I am really looking forward to that. And then hopefully a crazy night of slightly drunken sex with my wonderful and no longer newlywed husband!

I started dating Charles last summer, so he and I are coming up on our anniversary, too. I remember that Henry and I got home from our honeymoon and I had already been having sexy dreams about gangbangs! Apparently my libido had decided we had done the monogamy thing for a little too long, but given all the focus on wedding planning I hadn't thought it was a good time to look for a new partner, even for something casual.

But then I went on OKCupid and Charles' profile jumped out at me. I chatted with a lot of people, but he was the first (and only) one I met this time around. We hit it off, and he's become an important part of my life, too. I still have that heady NRE and lust for him, and I'm enjoying every moment of that while it lasts! I know that doesn't last forever. And I've fallen in love pretty deeply, too, and trying to enjoy every moment of that.

I've never had this much love in my life before, not like this. Two wonderful men who are both in love with me, who actually like each other (no, they aren't involved romantically or sexually), and who care about me and want the best for me. Sometimes I have to pinch myself and ask what I've done to deserve this!

Charles and I decided to do something a little crazy for our anniversary- we're going to spend a week next month at an all inclusive in the Dominican Republic! I've never spent that kind of block of time with Charles at once, and I'm looking forward to it. We've always done more of the usual kind of "dating" thing- an evening, or maybe an overnight, but nothing longer than that. It's actually been a bit different from what I've done with previous partners who I did usually spend weekends with or a few days at a time, but given Charles' schedule that just hasn't been possible. But he made sure to clear it so that we can go away together and have a wonderful time. And while he's looking forward to the vacation (his first in years), he told me that he doesn't care as much about the "backdrop"- the place we're going or anything like that- he just wants to spend time with me. Cue my melting heart!

And yup, Henry is even going to drive us to the airport. Hate to disappoint the cuckolds out there, but he's not doing it for that reason, but instead just back to that Acts of Service love language where he wants to make me happy and make my life easier. And that's pretty amazing in and of itself. But of course, feel free to play with your little cocks thinking about my husband driving me and my boyfriend to the airport so that we can go away on a romantic 7 night trip to a resort to celebrate our anniversary- I don't mind ;)

So I have a lot of good times coming up soon... sometimes I feel like the universe is trying to make up the last few years to me. Maybe nothing lasts forever, but life still hasn't beaten the hopeless romantic out of me yet. I want to enjoy every moment with Charles and Henry. And right now, those moments are pretty spectacular.

Overflow

Sometimes it feels like my cup runneth over. I am a very lucky woman!

Last night Henry and I just couldn't get enough of each other. We had sex twice in a span of less than two hours. We haven't had sex more than once a day in quite a long time, and it was always once in the morning, once in the evening. But last night we fucked so passionately and it felt SO good... we were cuddled up in bed watching TV and started kissing again and suddenly I felt his cock stiffening against me again... I shifted my hips so that he could slide into my slightly sore but wet and waiting pussy. Let's just say I slept well last night! ;)

I try really hard not to compare my relationships with Henry and Charles, because it's not fair to either of them, for different reasons. I mean, they're different people, and since a relationship is the sum of its parts, of course they will be different. Not to mention that my relationship with Henry is deeper and has more intimacy and familiarity just because of longevity, while my relationship with Charles is naturally going to have more passion and NRE because it's newer. I have to be honest that it's so wonderful and amazing to have both connections like that in my life! It's absolutely the best of both worlds.

And the differences only highlight the positives. I spent yesterday all day with Henry, and he was doing some rather unpleasant/tiring tasks for me. But he did them without complaint because he loves me and he wants to be happy. Knowing that he has my back and wants to make my life as easy as possible just makes me feel so loved and happy. And then that we can still have bedrockingly great sex too- how did I wind up with such an amazing husband?

Charles has really been pulling out the stops to make me feel wonderful too. He teasingly told me after he had just eaten my pussy until I saw stars, that he loves me more and that he wouldn't accept my arguing with him as valid because I was all high on endorphins! It was so sweet and silly and romantic that I couldn't help but kiss him and smile.

While some parts of my life have been stressful lately, I'm trying to stay as present as possible and enjoy the amazing moments I have with my two wonderful partners. My heart overflows with love, and my pussy overflows with... well, you know ;)

Ovulation

So, despite the fact that I have a Mirena IUD, I still ovulate. I think my body just really likes being pregnant! I have been having some issues with birth control lately that I've got to sort out, but for the meantime, that's what I'm working with- I'll save the nonsexy post for later!

I haven't been writing much, but it's not that I'm not getting up to deviltry- just that I've been too busy to write about it! I haven't missed a date with Charles, although he's been working more which has sucked a little.

Last week, though, when he came over, was more than memorable. Every once in a while I seem to have a very strong ovulation and I just go crazy with hormones. Previous partners have told me that my clit swells to double it's usual size, and I squirt much more often and copiously. And I just can't be satiated- I would fuck all night long. Isn't it good that I have two partners to try and keep up with me?

I was ravenous. I fucked Henry into the ground the night before. We put on some good porn, I sucked his cock, and then he fucked me so long and so good, but I just couldn't come and I was so frustrated. I'll get more into that in another post, because that's pretty rare for me. I grabbed the Hitachi magic wand and was using that while he fucked me and it felt amazing... but not quite enough. I felt like I needed a vaginal orgasm to really hit over the top so I asked him to stop and fist me while I used the Hitachi. And of course my wonderful husband pulled his hard cock out of me and worked hard to give me that pleasure I needed so desperately. He worked his hand into my wide open and dripping cunt and stretched me out until I came so hard and clenched on his fist, and squirted again and again. Although the funny thing about fisting is that it was rather like a plug, so the gush didn't come until he pulled out his hand- now that was quite the sensation!

He's such a good boy, though. I know it makes him happy to make me happy, even if that means I delayed his own pleasure for it. He was so close to cumming that he just had to give his cock a few strokes and he was finished.

I was still craving more, though. He had fallen asleep but my clit was throbbing and my pussy was aching to be filled. Like I said... those times when I ovulate hard, it's a little crazy but it's awesome. I had a little fun with some of my toys while he snored quietly next to me- it was kind of fun :)

And then the next day, I had Charles... I warned him what he was walking into but we were so eager for each other since we hadn't had sex the last time we got together. We went right up to bed and spent the next three hours there attempting to completely dehydrate ourselves! Mmm... so much kissing and licking and sucking... Charles loves making me squirt since he loves to lick it all up but this time me made me cum so hard that it sprayed all over his face! It was pretty awesome :)  And he made me feel so good. After we fucked and he filled me with his cum, I pushed his face down and told him to clean that mess out of my dripping wet pussy.

I was still so sensitive from the hormones and the fucking and orgasms and his tongue on my cunt was just pure bliss. He didn't have to work very hard to clean up his mess because every time he made me orgasm, the spasms pushed his cum out of me and right into his waiting mouth.

Mmm... I really needed that! The only problem is, the more that I fuck, the more that I want to fuck... Death by snu snu?