Monday 12 September 2016

Definitions

It's always interesting when people use labels, and then have different definitions for that same label. It can certainly cause some communication issues! I think labels provide a good starting point, but if you don't know what that definition means to that person it still doesn't give you all that much information. Certainly I've run into this a few times- people calling themselves "submissive" when what they really mean is "wanting someone to do the stuff that they fantasize about to them", when my definition is "someone who wants to please their partner and follow their lead". That's a pretty wide gap there!

I seem to have run into another one, but it led to a very interesting night. I had wanted to hook up with Rob again, since I enjoyed his magic tongue so much, but Donna was coming over for a visit. I had told her all about him since we have pretty open discussions about our sex lives. She's got a boyfriend now (the guy I hooked her up with!), but she still enjoys hearing my stories. She and I have become pretty close. Ah, but alas for being straight and monogamous!

Anyway, I mentioned to her that Rob had asked if I would use my urethral sounds on him next time he came by, and I said sure. I haven't used them in a while and it's always fun to pop someone's cherry with a new activity. Donna said she had never seen sounding being done, so I said if she wanted to that I'd be happy to teach her. Rob was texting me and suggesting he come by, so we took him up on it. She had also asked me about how to find a man's prostate and I said we could do that too if she wanted.

Ah, but the definitions! I know she does BDSM play with other people but she's sexually monogamous. It's interesting to see how she defined this, because I sure think that inserting metal rods into a man's cock while masturbating him and sliding your finger into his ass is sexual, but we all do things differently. Wonder if that means there's still a chance for a threesome with her? Just kidding!

It was fun to watch them and direct, though. I had to stay close and supervise since this is medical play and pretty edgy. Rob certainly enjoyed the attentions of two beautiful women while he was getting his prostate stroked from two angles! Donna had never been inside a partner before, and she said it was a pretty cool sensation even through the latex glove. It wasn't long before Rob was cumming all over himself.

I was kind of curious to see if she was going to enjoy his mouth, too. After all, we called him her science experiment while she was learning to sound, so maybe that would be, too? But she did decide to head out. Poor Rob didn't get to bury his face in two wet cunts, but I can last long enough and have more orgasms than two average women I think :) It was a good night.

4 comments:

  1. oh damn, you did it again. I read this and got turned on. Sounding is something I have wanted to try forever. A past background though means that I have always held back because there is a certain standard regarding the equipment being clean that I insist on. That being said, having two beautiful women do this especially while one is teaching the other is just a fantastically hot thought

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  2. I learned something new today! You are so great at broadening my sexy knowledge horizons. Thanks!

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  3. Oh my, your writing means I can picture it as I am reading it which is excellent. Do you think that sometimes people label themselves as submissive because they are "lazy"? I have pondered that question

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    1. Glad you are enjoying my posts!

      I don't know... I think that is a pretty loaded question. I can certainly be defined as a "pillow princess" sexually, because I like to lie back and receive pleasure. That doesn't make me lazy- it means I want what I want the way I want it :)

      Maybe some bottoms are lazy? But I don't view them as submissive. And honestly, I can't judge someone for the way they like to receive pleasure as long as it's consensually negotiated with their partner(s) and they don't call themselves a submissive when all they want to do is bottom :)

      Being a submissive, in my definition, is hard work. You need to follow your Dominant's orders which might be contrary to your own desires. You need to be a good communicator and able to explicitly state and negotiate your hard and soft limits. You still need to be an active participant in the relationship, even if you're following your partner's lead.

      Yeah, being a Dominant is hard work too. It's not just all sitting back and having your partner do everything like some people imagine. Relationships are hard work. Frankly, even a scene can take a lot of effort and planning. If someone is coming into the BDSM scene thinking of just getting lots of blowjobs, they are in for a big surprise! But if this is something you're into, it's totally worth it from either side, whatever your predilections are.

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