Monday, 29 June 2015

Bad Boy

I've never been the kind of Dominant who wants a doormat for a partner. While I expect obedience when I make a decision (within reason), I like a little sass, too, when appropriate. Obviously, I don't want my submissives mouthing off or being bratty when we're at a high protocol party, for example. But at home? Sure. Show me your personality. Let's have some fun. So I find myself drawn to partners who have a little bit of spunk.

Henry most certainly enjoys being cheeky! I don't practice a punishment dynamic, because first of all I believe that play is supposed to be fun, and second of all, I date partners who want to make me happy. If my submissive isn't going to either engage me in a respectful conversation about whatever the issue is, or else choose to comply because that's our arrangement, then it's just not going to work. Willful disobedience is what I would expect from a child, not an adult who is an equal partner in a relationship (albeit with different responsibilities). But, I digress!

Now, I do believe in funishment! That's when the bratty behaviour starts some play that is fun- well, for at least one person. But realistically, play is generally supposed to be fun for both partners or what's the point, really? So Henry has a smart mouth and usually I enjoy the playful banter. Most of the time, I'll give him a light slap across the face or else make dire threats about what will happen if he continues. It's all just part of the game.

Then, yesterday he commented that when I'm being sadistic, I giggle like a fucked up schoolgirl. Now, I found out afterwards that apparently he was trying to be funny, but I decided that one merited a response instead of just play. Ok, and I've been looking for an excuse lately to let my demons out. After all, Henry has said that mine must be personal assistants to the Devil. I took that as quite the compliment! So I decided to let them out to play.

I had recently given Henry a nice big stainless steel butt plug capped with a pink Princess jewel. Stainless steel is lovely for temperature play :) so I stuck it in a glass with a few ice cubes and some cold water so that it would get nice and cold. While we were waiting, I took out my little bottle of cinnamon oil and slipped on a latex glove. I lubed up my fingers, and slid two into his asshole. He's such an ass slut- his cock was already rock hard. Then I pulled out, dripped one single drop of cinnamon oil on my finger, and slid it back into his ass. He told me that it was a burning sensation that sort of moved around and varied in intensity. It wasn't as strong as I thought it would be, but it was interesting to play with!

Then I decided it was time for the real fun. I handed him the cup with the freezing butt plug and told him to put it in his ass, because I wanted to watch. And oh my, the look on his face when he tried to insert it! I couldn't help but laugh. His cock stayed hard the whole time though, so I know I wasn't the only one having a good time, even if he would have preferred to be without pain. While I was giggling, he said he was glad to be making me happy, and he was.

We had originally planned to do urethral sounds as play before we took this little detour into creative sadism, and I know he usually orgasms from it, so I decided to make use of that hard cock of his now. I climbed on top and started to ride him. He made such good noises... Pleasure mixed with the chill of that plug in his ass. I told him to make sure not to cum! He said "but I thought you like it when I cum inside you," playfully, but I just smiled and said not this time.

When I was done enjoying his cock in my pussy, I climbed off and we got him ready for the sounds. It had been a long time since we'd used them! It wasn't long before he asked permission to cum and made a nice little mess. Of course, you know how I like those messes to be cleaned up :)

It was a really good night of playtime. He told me afterwards that he enjoys how we play and I'm glad. I get my sadism, my kink, and my cuddles afterwards. He's such a good boy and I love him.

Monday, 22 June 2015

A Year in a Day

Sometimes life gets crazy, but you know you have awesome friends if when you get together, it's like no time has passed at all. Chris is a dear friend but we haven't seen each other in almost a year, for various reasons. It's times like that I am so glad for technology and the internet, because I don't see how it would be possible to maintain a close friendship without that communication. He and I chat a few times a week and stay up on each other's lives. And of course, it's pretty awesome to have a friend who shares my interest in D/s and knows what kind of porn I like!

Chris finally got a break in his crazy schedule and told me he'd come up to visit. I was so excited since it had been ages, and we spent a few days building up the anticipation. He wore a chastity device so that he couldn't stroke his cock and he told me he had to take a few cold showers in the meantime! It was pretty hot. We worked out what protocol we were going to use when he was here.

He brought up a whole bag of awesome toys. Between the two of us, we had enough stuff to keep us busy for weeks! It's too bad that we didn't get to try everything but that just means we'll have to get together soon again if we can. We definitely had some fun though. I really needed to let my sadist side out. It felt so good afterwards that I didn't even need to have an orgasm.

I had him wait naked on his knees next to my couch after letting himself in, and then kiss my feet when he arrived. I had him show me all the toys he brought, and then we went upstairs and I chained him spreadeagled to my bed. Chris is very experienced at some things, but less so at others. But because we've been friends for so long, there's a lot of trust between us so we tried a few things that were new to him. I did a little electrical play with him, which he liked, and then we did some fire and spanking with fire wands. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe the erotic thrill of fireplay, or explain why I like it so much. I remember when I first heard there was something called fireplay, that I thought, what the fuck? Fire is really really dangerous! Why would anyone actually want to light someone on fire? And then I watched a fire scene and thought it was intensely erotic. Just like with any other kink activity, I think I find myself drawn to the trust and connection between the players, the vulnerability. I feed off that energy transfer; that my partner is all mine in those moments.

By then, his body was incredibly sensitive and he was moaning even when I just scraped my nails along his skin. It was a lot of fun! So I brought out the hot wax, which normally is a mild to light play, but was quite a bit more intense under the circumstances! Of course, I also took out my little creme brulee torch to melt the wax a little hotter and more quickly :) It was so much fun watching him wriggle and moan, and thank me when I hurt him. That sense of power and control is so fulfilling, that even though I love sex, I'd still say it's better than sex.

He grabbed a quick shower since he was covered with the remnants of candle wax after I scraped it off with a knife, and I went downstairs with a few toys and relaxed. He came down and asked permission to worship my feet. That is a huge fetish of mine and it was so good to have him kissing my feet and sucking my toes. Mmm... I really have missed being with someone who enjoys feet and boots as much as I do. It felt so good!

My sadist wasn't done with Chris yet, though. We had already done way more kink stuff than I normally do in one day, but it felt like we were trying to make up for that year we hadn't played! And it was awesome, so we kept going. He had these awesome little clamps called shark clamps, and I put them on his nipples and then ran clothespins all along that sensitive skin under his arms. And just to be nasty, I took some tiny little ones and put them along the shaft of his cock and then a few right on the head of his cock. He was moaning and begging and I just laughed and reminded him that was going to get me to do it more! Then he started yelling yes and asking if that would work. It was so funny :) I didn't make him suffer for too long. I asked if he wanted the pins off and he was such a good boy- answered if that would please me. I took a few off gently, but then got an evil flash in my eyes and pulled them off without releasing the jaws. He groaned and thanked me for removing them- so satisfying!

Then it was time for what we love to do together- boot worship. I attached a humbler to his balls to keep him on his knees, and sat on the couch while he knelt in front of me to lace up my boots. I brought out a pair of shiny black thigh high boots with red laces and buckles. So sexy. He pressed his nose to the leather and just breathed in that new boot smell. When he had the boots fitting my legs like a second skin, I gave him permission to worship. He licked every inch of them and pressed kissed all over the leather, and lay down with my boots on his face and sucked the 6" stiletto heel. I really enjoyed it when I told him to turn around and start humping my boots and then I started talking dirty to him, having him tell me that dogs hump boots and he was just a horny little dog fucking himself on my boot. I slid a dildo into his ass and started playing with it while I stretched out my other leg and slid it down his ass until the heel was pressing against his balls. His cock was hard and straining the whole time and it was so erotic. He begged me for permission to cum and I told him that he could if he jerked off onto my boots and cleaned up his mess. He started rubbing his cock hard and asked for permission when he was right on the edge. I told him to cum for me and he groaned and came all over my boot tops, then knelt down and licked them carefully clean.

I was feeling so good after all that play that I just wanted to relax- I wasn't really interested in anything sexual. There was enough of a high. We cuddled a little on the couch for a while and he helped me clean up the toys we used. We hadn't even come close to doing everything we wanted to do but it was still amazing. We'll have to do it again sometime soon, I hope!

Saturday, 20 June 2015

Building Memories

It's interesting. Sometimes people think that because I'm a Dominant, I have this sort of checklist of what I want out of a relationship. So basically, that my side of a relationship is always the same regardless of who I am with. And to some extent, that's true; I like some things no matter what, and they're part of my hard requirements. It takes time to learn what you want from a partner, and seeing what you don't want is a good way to figure out what you do. So, no matter what kind of relationships I have in the future, I know that I want a partner who is open to power exchange being in the foundation and engaging in BDSM. I know that polyamory, at least on my end, is a necessity. I know that I want someone who I am compatible with on a vanilla level and can just enjoy hanging out with. And I know that I need someone who likes communication just as much as I do, and will be open and honest and vulnerable with me.

And when it all comes down to it, the other stuff isn't as important. So the way that I connect with each partner I've had has been different, even though I remain myself. It's like the relationship is indeed more than the sum of its parts, that we build something together that is just us, and will never be that way with anyone else again. It's rather a romantic notion, but call me a romantic.

I've been thinking about how different the shapes of all my relationships are, and how as long as my core desires are met, that I can find myself wanting and enjoying different things with different people. For example, I went out on a date or two with a guy who enjoyed pet play as a fetish (this is NOT bestiality, for those who haven't heard of it- it's literally pretending to be an animal of some sort). There are a lot of ways that can manifest itself but none of them really appealed to me. I figured it just wasn't my thing. And then one evening Henry was all cuddled up with me and I found myself stroking his cheeks and he tilted his head so I was scratching his hair and I found myself thinking how much like our cat that gesture was, and it turns out that he enjoys the occasional kitten role play. And suddenly I found myself interested enough to enjoy it as a cuddling/bonding activity rather than put off. So while it's not a fetish interest of mine, it is an interest of this me+Henry relationship that we're creating together, and I like that. It's a part of me that is uniquely there for intimacy with him, and it deepens our connection.

There are even things that I thought would be an absolute necessity for me that I'm not missing as much as I thought I would. For example, if you've been reading my blog, you know how much I love having my pussy licked. Yup, I'm one of those stereotypical women who is actually interested in a man who says he'll eat pussy for hours (as long as he actually does it well, according to my likes). It is absolutely my favourite sexual act and I would have said that I didn't think I could be satisfied without it.

Well, go figure- I'm dating a man who isn't the world's biggest fan of any kind of oral sex, giving or receiving. He'll do it if I ask him to, but I know he doesn't enjoy it the way my other partners have. And while it does cross my mind that I miss it occasionally, I still find myself to be well satisfied by our sex life. We have other things that we do together that are fulfilling, and that's okay. My relationship with him isn't like any other one I've had before, and that's what makes it special.

I think this is one of the reasons why poly makes so much sense to me; we're all unique people, and a new relationship can never really replace an old one. Partners don't substitute for one another, so if I find myself missing Jennifer (haven't seen her in a while because life), then spending time with Henry isn't going to help with that. My partners are all amazing people and we have our own special connections.

So while I believe that our core selves stay the same, I think that every relationship we have changes us, that we really do leave behind a piece of our hearts that stays entwined with our past loves and that we will never be the same with anyone else again. That doesn't mean that we can't find love again with someone else, though, taking the lessons we've learned about ourselves, and build something new and beautiful together.

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

New Experiences

I've been pretty tired and stressed lately, so I haven't had as much energy for kinky play. I'm finding myself missing it, wanting to let out all that frustration and pain on a consensual partner. I don't have much control in my life right now, so I'm hungering for it in a way that can give me pleasure. Right about now, I'd love to hurt someone until they call red, and then have them give me so many orgasms that I can't think or talk anymore. That sounds lovely :) But, Henry isn't a heavy masochist, so it'll stay a lovely fantasy for now. I might have to give another play partner a call! After all, if someone would enjoy it as much as I would, why deprive us of the pleasure? :)

Not that things aren't quite satisfying just as they are! I like to fulfill Henry's fantasies. Contrary to popular belief, D/s relationships aren't all about the Dominant. I love Henry and I want him to get what he needs and wants, too. I just do it on my terms :) Henry loves ass play, and I've been enjoying the way it feels to have his ass gripping my fingers or one of my cocks. It's such a sexy feeling! It's tighter than playing with a pussy, but they're both awesome.

I've paid attention to the porn that Henry enjoys. He had told me that he fantasizes about being fisted. He hadn't done it with any of his previous partners and I know it's been on his mind. And it sounded pretty tempting to me, too :)

Fisting is pretty awesome. I love receiving it, for example. But a pussy is designed to stretch much more than an ass is, so it takes a lot of time, patience, communication, and trust. He was SO tight, and feeling every ripple in his muscles was a real turn on. If you try it, use lots of nice thick lube (the thinner stuff isn't as good), wear a glove, and take it really slowly. But when my fist finally slid all the way in... watching his eyes roll back in his head and tell me that he was cumming... It was one of the sexiest experiences of my life. And the intimacy in sharing something that intense was pretty amazing.