Saturday, 30 May 2015

Hotel Room Magic

There's always some kind of aphrodisiac in a hotel room, isn't there? Perhaps it's the novelty. Perhaps it's knowing that thousands of other people have fucked in the same bed. But I don't think I've ever stayed in a hotel room with someone I'm in a relationship with and not had sex. It always feels like something a little extra special. I can certainly understand part of the thrill that people who choose to have affairs must have, walking into a hotel strictly for sex. Actually, I remember a visit with Patrick from a few years ago where we went to a hotel room and he went to get the keys while I was in the car. The desk clerk asked him if he was in town for business or pleasure, and he said pleasure. When I walked in wearing a minidress and high heeled sandals, the clerk gave him a wink- there was no doubt what kind of pleasure we were there for! Damn, now I want to go back to a hotel room!

This past week, Henry and I decided to take a little getaway to a local tourist town and we booked an awesome suite at my favourite hotel. Sometimes you really just need to unwind a little, and we definitely did that!

I asked him before we left to choose four toys from my toy box, and I packed those in my overnight bag. Of course, things are never what they seem and I had a few surprises for him!

First he knelt in front of me so I could lock his collar around his neck. I love wearing the key on a chain around mine- it looks pretty and just helps put me into the headspace for playtime. I fastened my cuffs around his wrists and ankles, and connected the wrist cuffs together with a clip. Then I had him kneel on on ottoman that I pushed to the foot of the bed, with his hands on the bed and his knees on the ottoman, and I attached a spreader bar to his ankle cuffs so that he couldn't close his legs, and then chained his cuffs around the ottoman base. Poor Henry was stuck there until I decided to release him! But his rock hard cock told me exactly how much he hated what I was doing to him.

I laid out the toys that he'd picked and knew were coming; the beautiful light suede flogger, the heavier bullhide flogger, his Njoy, and the Realdoe. But, I kept a few surprises off to the side that he couldn't see! A set of finger claws, a seven wheeled wartenburg wheel, and the coup de grace: a piece of peeled ginger carved into a butt plug. Figging causes a rather intense burning sensation, especially when the person clenches their ass, but it's totally harmless and the effect fades aften you take it out. Of course, it can be fun to try and make your partner clench up! That's what all the sensation toys were for. Listening to his moans and sighs as I traced his body with various implements made my pussy so wet. When I removed the ginger root, I snapped on a latex glove and started to finger his ass with lube. I love the way he feels when he clenches around my fingers! When he was nice and lubed up, I slid the Realdoe inside his ass. I'm always amazed by the size of the toys he can take! And then I started to flog his ass and thighs and back, lightly but rhythmically. I was looking to create sensation more than to create pain. And of course, fucking him with the dildo made him moan and beg for me to play with his hard cock, since he was in cuffs and couldn't stroke himself. It was fun to say no to him :)

It was hard to resist his dangling balls, so I got a mini rubber flogger (very light impact) and started to hit him there while I used my other hand to fuck him with his dildo. Finally, I decided to let him cum so I pulled out the Realdoe and slid the large ball of his nJoy into his ass. This toy gives very intense prostate stimulation and Henry loves that, so I knew it wouldn't be long. I lubed up my hand and started rubbing his cock while I fucked him with the nJoy. I told him he was my dirty little slut, fucking himself back on my hand and the toy and he breathlessly agreed. "Cum for me," I whispered in his ear, and he groaned and shot his cum all over my hand. It was a lot of fun!

But, the evening wasn't over yet. Our room had a fabulous two person Jacuzzi, so we spent the next couple of hours in the tub with lighted candles around us. By the way, putting bubble bath in a Jacuzzi is a lot of fun, as long as you don't go overboard! We relaxed, watched Indiana Jones, and drank mimosas. It was funny; at one point the maharajah talked about having palace slaves, and I grinned over at Henry and said maybe I should have an opening for one. He smiled back and said he thought the position had been filled.

He is my good boy, and a fabulous boyfriend, and I love how our relationship has a great mix of kink and vanilla. I can beat him until he cries and then we can go out for a romantic walk and cuddle in the park. BDSM really isn't all that much like it's portrayed in the media; in my case it's just another facet to a loving relationship where we have different needs, but both people's needs being met are still important. I love him. I hurt him, and I expect him to serve me, but I take care of him, too. Symbiosis is a beautiful thing, and I'm a lucky woman to have him in my life.

Saturday, 16 May 2015

House Party

Henry and I got invited to a house party last night. I've been before and it's very laid back and low key but it's lots of fun. We got to hang out with lots of our friends and do some socializing, as well as get some playtime in.

When he showed up at the door, I couldn't help but smile. He was so sexy! Shiny engineer boots, tight blue jeans, a black tank top, and a hat. He changed his nipple rings to black, too :) I don't normally get all dressed up for house parties, but I wore a pretty sundress and high heeled sandals. Perhaps it's even funnier to look like the girl next door when I'm doing terrible things to people!

It was really nice just to catch up with friends in a fun and relaxed environment. I got to watch an interesting scene where two female submissives were lying together on a bed on their backs with their wrists bound above their heads, their outside leg tied splayed and their inside legs tied together, with a Hitachi magic wand tied on their clits while they were beaten by their Doms. It was a pretty awesome contrast of pleasure and pain and it looked like they were all having a good time!

I got asked to do a couple of fun scenes with friends as well. I'm building a reputation for myself in the community and while I don't usually play without a connection, I don't mind sharing my skills with people who are new. It's still fun, it just doesn't turn me on the same way. But I got to enjoy the contrast when I told Henry to get on the table for his turn and the energy that had suddenly been playful suddenly turned erotic. Sensual touches, my hands sliding over his body causing pleasure and pain. Little sighs and moans. His breath coming shorter while his lips begged for mine. And my panties dripping wet with sex so strongly in the air. It was so good, and I couldn't wait to come home and fuck his brains out!

It's been nine months, but his naked skin on mine still takes my breath away, whether we're cuddling or having sex. I almost can't think straight when the chemistry is that intense between us.

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Service Submission

I thought I'd tackle another topic where I've seen a lot of misunderstanding. What I hear is that many people don't understand why someone would want to give service, or how this is related to sex. And I can understand that; how can it be sexy or arousing to wash someone's dishes or to make dinner? That's where D/s is such a beautiful thing. Acts aren't inherently Dominant or submissive; it's the mindset of the people performing those actions. Service can be a very intimate way to show your partner that you value their happiness and want to make their life easier. And if you get off on pleasing your partner, seeing that smile bloom across their face can give you the emotional satisfaction that you want. After all, who among us hasn't gone to some trouble for a partner, say cooking a special meal or planning down to the details an amazing date, purely for knowing what a wonderful experience you could create for someone you love? Now of course, that doesn't make you submissive. But if you are doing it with a submissive mindset and your Dominant accepts it as such, it can be part of a really intimate connection. For me, it's the mindfulness; it's that we are choosing to do these actions as part of the foundation of the relationship that gives me such a level of mental arousal and happiness. I heard another longtime D/s practitioner talk about the "mental cock" or "mental vagina", how you get aroused mentally without being aroused physically, and that very much describes the feeling I get when I receive service from a partner that I'm in a D/s relationship with.

A few weeks ago, Henry moved to my city. We were both struggling with the long distance and wanting to see each other more, and since he had fewer ties to his area, he decided to make the move. It's been so good to have him around more often. I love seeing him multiple times per week and having our relationship feel more substantial and less of a weekend thing. It's definitely been positive for both of us.

Last time he was over, I had a headache and wasn't feeling that well. I had planned to cook dinner but I told him that I wasn't feeling up to it and that I was going to have a shower. I told him to choose one of the frozen pizzas and make that for dinner instead. When I came back downstairs in my bathrobe to relax on the couch, I found that he had customized the pizza with my favourite vegetables and extra cheese. When it was ready, he brought it out and served it to me. He asked me what I wanted to drink and made sure to keep my glass full. He surprised me with a dessert he'd made, and then cleared all the dishes and washed them naked, which is a fetish of mine. Nothing is sexier than a naked man doing chores :) Afterwards, I lay on the couch and he rubbed my feet with massage oil while we watched a movie. It was an absolutely perfect evening.

Perhaps you can't pinpoint any specific action in there that shows he's my submissive. After all, any of us could do that for a friend or partner. But it was the mindfulness and connection between us that really turned me on. He followed the protocol I like when being served, and made sure to make eye contact with me while I accepted what he was offering. It wasn't like the stereotypical "get me a beer" kind of thing where I wasn't looking and just grabbing the item; we had a moment every time he offered me something. And it was so, so good.

I was feeling a little better afterwards so we went upstairs, and I wanted him to feel as happy as I was. We kissed passionately, and it wasn't long before his cock was in my pussy. I mostly wanted to feel that intense connection with him more than I wanted erotic satisfaction, and I got it. I purred in his ear for him to tell me what he wanted tonight, and that he'd get it. I don't always handle things like that but I felt so good and wanted to make sure he had the same. We have a rule that when I specifically ask for a reply, he can't cop out by saying whatever I want; he does have to tell me. He said he'd like to use the sounds and have me play with his ass. Oh, that I could do! It's always so sexy to slide those long steel rods into his cock, and to watch his eyes roll back in his head. I love the way it feels to have his ass tight around my fingers. It wasn't long before he was having an intense orgasm and then we lay back and cuddled until we fell asleep.

It was a perfect day.

Sunday, 3 May 2015

Role Models

One of the tough issues about living an alternative lifestyle, is that there are no road maps. If you're vanilla and monogamous, while there may be lots of bad role models, at least you have an idea of the way your relationship is supposed to progress. While I think the relationship escalator has issues of its own, since not all relationships have to fit into its order to be satisfying, at least people have a bit of security from it.

When you choose to make your own rules to define your relationship, where do you look for advice? It's all well and good to say that you have to figure out what works for you, and to a very large extent that is true. But it is nice to hear where others have gone wrong and just to see some examples of people who have healthy, long term relationships of the type you're considering. With poly, for example, the first thing you hear when your relationship implodes, is that it must have been poly that did it. Do we hear people saying when a mono marriage breaks up that it was monogamy that is at fault? It's just the default lens through which we look at all relationships. It's one big reason why I am strongly in favour of people joining their local community and making connections if they're poly or kinky, just so they have support from people who understand them, and have the opportunity to see how other people handle their relationships. You don't have to be seeking new partners to join a poly group, or to want to play in public to join a BDSM group. It's just nice to hang around like minded people.

This past week, Henry and I attended a seminar on Dominance and submission as a way of life, and it was really informative. The couple who taught it has been involved in 24/7 D/s for over sixteen years, and they were able to share some of the pitfalls that caught them up, and strategies they have used to keep their relationship healthy and happy as time passes.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that power exchange can be part of a beautiful, healthy relationship. Just because one person gives the orders and the other obeys and provides service doesn't mean that things are unbalanced; it means that the parties involved have different needs and desires that work in a complementary fashion. The genuine love and affection between the couple as they bantered with each other was really inspiring, and I hope to have a relationship like that one day.

Henry and I are talking about writing a contract. While I did that with John, things will be different this time. Obviously, it's a different relationship, and I don't believe in having cookie cutter templates for a relationship. Different people have different needs. While I have protocols I enjoy, they have to fit. Also, I'll be seeing Henry more regularly in the future, and our relationship is more intense (I hesitate to use the word "serious" because I don't like the connotations and I don't think that just because a relationship isn't standard or on a lifetime track that it has no meaning), so we'll be able to add more detailed rules and rituals. I am looking forward to seeing what we come up with.

After the seminar, we went to a play party and had a blast. We hung out with friends, and then did a sensation play scene together. It was a lot of fun. This particular party isn't sex friendly, but the sexual energy between us was so hot we were all over each other in the audience area. While I kept the presence of mind to remember that we couldn't actually have sex of any kind, I think at times my mind was so clouded by the high of the scene and my desire for him that I forgot where I was or anything at all except the way I was feeling. It was a really awesome night :) I'm a lucky woman.