Connection & Communication

Over the past month or so, things had gotten a little complicated with Charles. He'd had some chronic health stuff flare up, and so we hadn't gotten to see each other much over the last month or so. He still stopped by on date night but didn't stay long and I could see he was the worse for wear.

Simultaneously things picked up at work for him, and our communication slowed as well. I wasn't too happy about that, and the next time I saw him, we had a conversation about it. Certainly, of all people, I get chronic health issues flaring, but I don't find that it makes me want to stop talking to people where apparently he tends to withdraw when he isn't feeling well. But it wasn't something we had discussed so I only saw the outcome, right?

So basically we had to sit down and just do a temperature check on our relationship. I told him that if he was happier without all the messy stuff/emotional investment, that I'd be okay with that, but he just needed to clarify for me. I said I'd be OK being FWB if he just wanted to hang out once a week and hang out a little and fuck, but I would need to adjust my expectations. I didn't mean to hurt him by that- I was just trying to make it easy for him if I'm too high maintenance for him. I know that I'm never going to be the "cool girlfriend" lol; that's not who I am. But he got pretty upset because he said that felt like I could just blow off my feelings like it was nothing. I told him that's not what I meant at all. Just that I couldn't keep my heart out if that wasn't what this is. He and I have different communication styles so we definitely have to work at this harder to make sure we understand each other!

He told me that when we started dating, he hadn't been looking for anything serious. He had been single for a while and just wanted to have some fun times together. That doesn't mean NSA for him but more of a casual type relationship. But he told me that I wound up being a much more potent cocktail than he expected and that he fell in love with me and he doesn't want to lose that. It was a tough night together, but I think it was a positive thing that we were able to have a good conversation without histrionics on either side, and talk about our wants, needs, and expectations. That night after we talked, we went to bed and just cuddled together and didn't want to let go.

Since then, he's made a real point of being more intentional and prioritizing our connection, too- not just when we're together. He's called me just to chat, and at least checked in by text daily. Plus he shifted things around so we could have our second date night on the weekend which we hadn't had in weeks. And then he went out of his way to make sure we had a wonderful night then. He came over and we made dinner together, and ate with Henry and Kiddo and played board games as a group before Henry went out with friends. Then we went upstairs and he gave me a wonderful massage (yup, both my boys cook AND have at least a little massage training!), and I was just melting. We went to bed and he pulled out all the stops to give me as much pleasure as possible. He buried his face in my cunt until I thought he must have needed a snorkel to breathe! I was riding so high on endorphins that I told him he'd have to scrape me off the ceiling. And when he finally slipped his hard cock inside me, I just got overwhelmed with all the feelings. He told me how much he loves me while he fucked me slowly and it was beyond incredible. Afterwards, we just snuggled and talked until we fell asleep.

I might not know where this relationship is going, and that's ok because I don't have to. But at least I know that wherever it is, we're going together :)