I've met someone new :) I'm not sure yet where it's going but I know that the little ache that has been in my heart for a long time seems to have been going away. That was part of what made me able to write that last entry, I suppose. I've known for a long time that my relationship with Patrick was over, but my own insecurity made it hard for me to let go. I think that being open to new possibilities right now made me able to reaffirm to myself that I am sexy and desirable and interesting to new people.
I had decided to be getting out more in the kink community, since I want to meet new people and enjoy hanging around with like minded individuals. And frankly, watching scenes is incredibly hot and thinking that I could learn this stuff is even better! So, I casually took a look at the list of people who attended a specific play party in a neighbouring city and glanced through their profiles, and one jumped out at me. It was very well written and clearly by someone who cares about expressing himself well and who is intelligent- both things that turn me on. We started a dialogue, met for a date, and hit it off. He identifies as a submissive and is also polyamorous, both characteristics that appeal to me. So, it's still new yet and we are learning about each other, but it's going well and I am looking forward to getting to know him.
We are clearly sexually compatible, since we had a weekend together at my house when Mark was out of town and my family was babysitting. I haven't met too many men who can keep up with me, and *Allen is definitely one of them! He also loves to lick pussy, and he is damn good at it too. Happy sighs :)
But yes, I think one of the reasons the aches didn't go away when I tried to fill the empty space in my life was because I was trying to fill a "relationship" need with casual sex, and that just doesn't work. Much as I enjoy casual sex, it's so much more when you're with someone you connect with and genuinely enjoy as a person. So far, that seems to be pretty great! I can't wait to see him again.