Sunday, 20 July 2014


So, a few interesting things have happened over the past week. I had my first date with Jennifer, and it went pretty well. We certainly enjoy each other's company! We went for a walk and got some frozen yogurt and chatted about life and relationships and BDSM. I know though that she's more heteroflexible than bisexual, so I am not sure if this is going the route of a new friend or a new lover. Either way will be good since I enjoy her company, but I'll be a little let down of course if she's not up for anything more.

Honestly though, life has been a total bust lately and I'm feeling pretty down. It seems like everything that can go wrong has been, and I'm pretty mentally and emotionally drained. Mark and I haven't been seeing each other much because of his work, so when we have spent time together it's basically had to be functional and focusing on life stuff that needed attention, and less on quality time. We had a fantastic fuck on Monday and some snuggles afterwards which felt really good, but we need some more time to connect.

I was supposed to go to a house party on Friday, where the hosts were also planning to sell off a good chunk of their costumes and BDSM gear cheaply since they aren't seeing much use anymore. Unfortunately both the babysitter and the backup that I lined up had to cancel, so I struck out. It was disappointing- that party is more of a social gathering for me than a play party, since there's less playspace there, but I still enjoy hanging out and watching others there.

Then yesterday was a female Dominant party that I had really been looking forward to. Chris and I had planned on three scenes and it was going to be so much fun. First, I was going to put him in a Humbler, and he has a lovely serving tray gag (his isn't quite like that- no hood and the tray is a bit larger), so I was going to use him as a footstool/table combination while I socialized with my friends. Then we were going to do some heavy electrical play with my violet wand and cupping set, and after that we were going to do some boot worship. We joked that we had to leave that for last because otherwise we get so into what we're doing that we never get to anything else! Either way, I haven't had the opportunity to play hard in a while so I was really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, he had to cancel, which was pretty disappointing.

John was still planning to go as a house slave though, so I figured we still might get to do something light even if he wasn't feeling up for something more intense. Well, the morning of the party he texted me and told me that he wasn't feeling well, so he was out. Another disappointment. So I figured I probably wouldn't get to play at all, but at least I'd go and have a good time. I always enjoy socializing with friends, and a close (platonic female) friend of mine was also working the party so I figured we'd get to hang out for a while, which we don't often get to do. She had asked me back in January if I wanted to play and I said yes, but we'd never found ourselves at the same parties, or if we were, she wound up playing with her new Dom who she started seeing in February.

So, Jennifer had expressed an interest in seeing me play (I had invited her to the party as my guest, but not as my sub since it was only our second date), and since things weren't shaping up like that, I figured I'd ask my friend if she wanted to do a scene here. Her Dom is married to the party organizer so he was working as a house sub himself, and he wouldn't be allowed to play with her at the party since it's femDom anyway. My friend said yes, I'd just have to clear it with her Dom. He and I have never really seen eye to eye, but I value manners so I do my best to be polite. Apparently he has some form of Asperger's and doesn't handle social situations well, but I don't really know the details. At any rate, to make a long story short, he was quite rude to me and it really ruined my night. On top of everything else, I got a nasty text from my friend who blamed me for the problems. I am wondering if we were even at the same party since our perceptions of the event are so different! I know this is just drama but I try really hard to avoid stuff like this in my life because it's so unpleasant. I'm pretty down because the way this played out is into friendship ending territory.

So, it's been a pretty crappy week. I could use some hugs and maybe a few orgasms LOL.

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