Saturday, 12 July 2014

On Bisexuality

I'm not sure if I ever wrote about this here, actually, but I was chatting with a female friend of mine about how my search was going and mentioned that it seems like my bisexuality comes in waves- either that, or it seems like I meet all men or all women but never a balanced group!

Lately, it seems like all the appealing prospects I'm talking to are women. There's one in particular I am very much enjoying... she texted me a sexy picture of her high heels on her way out for a date with her husband, and they were very hot shoes indeed! I also got a great message today from a pretty girl in a city about an hour away. Where are all the local people? Or when is someone going to buy me a car? ;)

I just looked back in my blog and saw that I'd written about the experience, but hadn't classified it as bisexual at the time. Up until about eighteen months ago, I would have insisted I was straight as an arrow. It seems like as days go by though, I am more and more comfortable with women as part of my sexual identity. I always used to swear that I'd never even have a FMF because I didn't like sharing and I wasn't sexually aroused by women. Then I was chatting with a friend I met in the BDSM community, and he and his wife both identify as submissive. I found him attractive, but he told me their agreement was that they only fuck people together. So, I decided to be open minded and give it a try. Sex is fun, there would be no pressure, so why not?

And while I was on top of her, playing with her nipples and kissing her passionately, I realized that what really attracts me to people is submissiveness much more so than genitalia. She was mine to play with how I liked, that particular time, and I loved that. It made me wet. Having her lick my pussy felt just as good as a man's tongue. So why was I letting labels limit myself?

At that point, I knew I was up for playing with women, but I still wasn't so sure about having a romantic relationship with one. That was a fairly recent development for me, but the longer I explored the idea of having a D/s relationship with a woman, the more it made me realize that I'd have the same emotional attachments there that I would with a male submissive. Dominance is emotional to me, with the right connection. There has to be, given the intensity and the trust and the getting to know someone so deeply; it's not something I want to do casually, nor do I think I really could.

So that's when I realized that yes, I really am bisexual now. While I still very much enjoy and have a lot more experience with cock, there's a lot of delightful things that can be done to a pussy!

What I find interesting is that I've noticed I look for and expect different things depending on if I'm dating a male submissive or a female one. I want to turn that over in my head and think about it, because I'm curious about it. I tend to expect a male submissive to serve me; I want him to hold my coat and lick my shoes and carry my bags. With a female submissive, I feel like I want to take care of her, if that makes sense. I still want to hurt her and dress her up like a sexy little fucktoy, but at the same time I want to cuddle her and treat her like she's special to me.

Gotta think about that one!


  1. You'll have to explain that further -- about how you like a female submissive yet want to take care of her. I find this interesting.

    What do you do to her or with her that is about taking care of her? (I am male by the way.)

    1. @ Anon 00:07

      It's not easy to describe it since I'm still sorting it all out in my head, really. I just know that I feel differently about how I want to do things with a female sub than with a male sub. It feels to me like there's less of the service and degradation components (although in a different way, because I damn well expect her to be my slutty little whore) but more of me spoiling her, too. I saw a fetish on Fetlife listed as, "being treated like a princess and fucked like a whore" and I guess that's how I feel about a female submissive. I want to do little things that make her happy, too, even as I expect the protocols from her. And then I want to use and abuse her until she begs for mercy :)