Connections

One benefit of having a major life change is that it's gotten me to do a lot of thinking about what I want from life and how I feel about things. I thought that I had my life basically figured out, and now, as Doc Brown would say, the future hasn't been written yet so make it a good one. It's just important to know what will make you happy. There is so much diversity out there, and we all have different desires and goals. I might not be sure where I will end up, but at least I know now that I am going to walk my own path.

Kiddo was invited on to a friend's house for the weekend, so I decided to go visit Henry at the last minute. We had decided in advance not to celebrate Valentine's Day, though. I feel like it's just another commercial way to squeeze money out of people during a slow post Christmas retail season. I mean, I want my partners to show me love and affection and appreciation all the time, not just because the calendar says they should. And I certainly wouldn't want to go to a nice restaurant on Valentine's Day; they are crazy busy, so food quality and service suffers. And that's if they don't have a prix fixe menu which costs more to boot (along with flowers and chocolate)! I was happy just to spend some time with him.

We spent the entire weekend either naked or mostly so. It was just perfect. Talking, cuddling, watching Netflix, playing, and having sex. I think of time like that as being in a bubble... it's not part of reality because we're in our own little world where nothing else exists. But it can be so connecting, too. Touch is very important to me, and Henry needs it just as much as I do. Just what the doctor ordered!

I had been waiting for a while for a good time to try out some kinky ideas, too. Oh, it was well worth waiting for! He knelt in front of me so I could lock his collar around his neck, and then I handed him a nice sized butt plug and told him to go put it in. When he came back, I had spread some towels on the floor and told him to get on his knees so I could attach a Humbler to his balls. It was so sexy seeing his balls stretched and knowing I could control him any way I liked- he couldn't even stand up with the device on. Then I buckled a ball gag on and positioned him in front of me so I could use him as a footstool and watch some TV.

I could see he was enjoying this as much as I was; his cock was rock hard and he was dripping precum all over the towels. I leaned over and kissed his cheek and nibbled down his neck and listened to him moan. It was so sexy to see his mouth stretched wide around the ball, drooling all over himself for me. I took my feet down so that I could get a little more hands on with him :) I tugged on the Humbler and played with his balls, and ran my fingers down his taint. I fucked him with the butt plug and played with his nipple rings until he was shaking and moaning. By then I was pretty worked up, and since this was the first time we'd tried the Humbler I thought it best to keep it on the short side. I released him from the gag and the Humbler but left in the butt plug, and told him to get himself on his bed. I climbed on his cock and rode him hard and fast until we both came hard- it was brief, but intense and passionate and so satisfying.

He wore his collar all weekend. I loved seeing it around his neck and he liked to play with the O ring in the front. He's a musician so he's always tapping on something and usually it drives me nuts, but this made me smile because it reminded me that he's wearing it. And it was so convenient to have another way to grab him :)

Sometimes it really is the little moments. We didn't do anything "special" at all, but it was an amazing weekend. Lying in bed together watching Netflix while his hands start to wander slowly, with no need to hurry. Just a slow, erotic buildup until I couldn't help moaning and my pussy was dripping when he hadn't even touched it. Or when I was reading on the couch while he did a quick cleanup, and he tucked me in cozily with three different blankets since he knows I get cold so easily. Drinking sangria and tasting chocolate mousse on each other's lips. Or just falling asleep with our arms around each other.

Every relationship I've had has brought me happiness, and that's one reason I enjoy writing this blog. Even when a relationship ends, I can look back at the moments we shared and remember how I felt at the time. Sometimes it's hard to remember and I need a little more distance, but every person who's been in my life intimately has made it a little richer. Every person sees the world a little differently and enjoys unique things, and being able to share those moments has broadened my horizons. Connection is the driving need in my life; it's what brings me happiness. I've been lucky to experience what I have so far because it's helped make me who I am. I've met some really fantastic people, and leaving myself open to exploring those connections in whatever form they may take means being available to some pretty fantastic possibilities. I love being polyamorous, and while I still want someone in my life to be my primary lover and vice versa, I wouldn't change my relationship orientation even if Prince Charming rode in on his white horse. After all, to be my Prince Charming, he'd have to love me for myself. To thine own self be true.