Saturday, 25 May 2013

Labels Are So Sticky...

It's funny to watch the way my own thoughts have evolved over the years. As recently as a year ago, I was absolutely positive I had no interest in women in the slightest- in fact, I wasn't even interested in something as casual as an FMF without contact with the other female. I'm coming to learn that things change over time, both my way of thinking and my desires. But then again, a few years ago I think I would have been horrified at some of the things I do now; not perhaps at the thoughts, since I've always been adventuresome sexually at least in my mind, but at the concept of actually taking them beyond fantasy.

Despite how my first comments may have sounded, I am not bisexual. At least to my mind, being bisexual means you are attracted sexually to both sexes. While I can appreciate a beautiful or sexy woman, I don't get that delightful tingling in my pussy or instant fantasizing that I do when I see an attractive man. And I would always prefer to have sex with a man over sex with a woman. So, what exactly am I trying to say?

I am learning that Domination is such an intense turn on for me mentally, that it transcends issues of sexuality. When I think of having a "vanilla" FMF, or back to my experience with Tina and James, and it was punctuated by nervousness and anxiety. It was my first time, and I was worried about pleasing her and pleasing him, but much more so about her since I had no experience with a woman. I know how to handle a man, how to read his body language and sounds and give him what he wants sexually. Since I prefer not to masturbate with my hands (I like toys), I don't really know how to touch a woman and I was embarrassed and it kept me out of really being able to relax and enjoy things.

But when I picture Tina tied spreadeagle to the bed, blindfolded, and awaiting my attention, my confidence comes back. Suddenly all I can think about is all the delightful things I'd like to do to her. I want to tease her, to bring her close to orgasm over and over but not let her cum until I'm ready. I want to sit on her face and feel her tongue lapping at my wet pussy and clit as I cum while denying her own. I want to put nipple clamps on her, flog her, and tease and torment her until she explodes into a hot, wet, quivering mess.

And oh yes, does that ever turn me on.

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