Thursday, 12 June 2014


Well, one thing that I always appreciate in the BDSM lifestyle is that communication is so open and honest. So Greg asked me how I was feeling post date, and I tried to be honest but kind at the same time. I told him that I really enjoy our connection and that I like him very much, but I don't see us developing a D/s relationship. I know that wasn't what he was hoping to hear, and when he asked why I brought up the kink incompatibility and the way we handle play parties. I was not going to crush him by saying the sex wasn't all that appealing to me either!

At any rate, I told him I'd still be happy to hang out sometimes because I do like him. So he's coming with me to a party next week that John isn't able to attend. I am not going to play with him because I just don't think I'd get much out of it, and he goes to parties to be social anyway. I like socializing... but that's why I go to munches, not play parties!

Chris asked me if I was coming to the monthly party in his town this weekend, but unfortunately Mark isn't home so I don't have anyone to watch kiddo. So disappointing. Chris and I always have white hot energy together. Since we don't see each other very often, most of our interaction takes place through IM, but we've been chatting for about a year now. We have a really good foundation and I really like him. Honestly, I don't think I've met anyone else who I find myself so kink-compatible with. It seems like every time I have a fantasy, he shares it. It's just unfortunate that what he really wants is a primary partner (which I'm obviously not available for), that he lives in another city and neither of us drive, and that his work life is ridiculously busy since he's also taking night classes so that even when I could come and see him, he's usually not available. That makes the idea of an actual relationship difficult... but for now, I'm definitely enjoying the play partner aspects at least!

What's funny is that the intensity of the energy that I am missing from my interactions with Greg is exactly what I have with Chris. He and I both agreed tonight that it was something that we felt in our scenes together and that it was something we'd like to pursue further. I told him that I usually keep a tight rein on my D/s behaviour because it tends to get intense for me emotionally so while I have wanted to engage with him like that, I've been letting it go slowly. But it made me really feel good to hear that he's been getting the same thing out of our scenes that I have.

It really is crazy how things go when we talk. We'll say hi, catch up on life, and then one of us will say something and then both of us spiral off into a distracted state and before we know it, it's late! I especially love it when he's in class and I'm sending him dirty pictures of things that I know turn us both on and he's trying to pay attention to the class :) We've really enjoyed talking through some awesome fantasies together and I hope we'll have more time together to do some of it!

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