And of course, I've got my wonderful relationship with Henry. I haven't really experienced anything like this in a long time, and I can see how much I've missed it. We have a pretty fantastic connection that is only enhanced by the D/s and the BDSM energy that we share. It just reminds me of yet another reason that I'm glad I've gotten off the relationship escalator; I don't have to worry where things are going, but I can just enjoy it for what it is. It also leaves me opening up my mind and my heart to people who are so different from me, with different likes and dislikes and experiences, which helps me grow as a person and experience new things. For example, I'm definitely not the kind of woman who you'd imagine in a workshop building things, but when Henry invited me to make things with him and I could see how much he wanted to share that side of himself with me, it just became another way for us to connect. And it was pretty awesome to explore something new and see how much he enjoys himself with it.
There have also been a lot of great BDSM workshops offered in 2014, and I had the opportunity to learn to practice new skills and continue developing my favourites. It's fantastic to have such a diverse sexual menu and to know that I can experiment safely. I'm looking forward to learning how to practice more activities in 2015, and hopefully getting some more opportunities to teach and demo the stuff that I'm good at.
I've been trying to live my life in a way that is open, honest, and authentic to me. I've also been trying to broaden my horizons and leave myself open to new experiences, and so far that's been paying off positively in such a big way. I look at myself three years ago and I don't recognize myself. I was a stay at home mom in a rut. I felt like my sexual desires were perverted and wrong, so I kept them to myself. I wasn't interested in experimenting, and I'd sure as hell rather sleep than have sex. I could never have imagined that I'd be the woman that I am today. I feel so much more liberated; I can be myself, and want the things that I want, and not only is it okay to want those things, but there are lots of people who want to experience them with me. They validate me, both in my BDSM and sexual desires, and as a person. I feel like I've grown a lot, and I'm a happier person. I've also been able to do a lot of introspection and self examination, and I like who I am and what I bring to the table.
I haven't enjoyed everything I've tried, but I've been proud of myself for trying it. I've always found change to be scary, and prefer sticking with things that are familiar and that I know I like. By being open to new ideas and experiences, I've met some fabulous people. And at the end of the day, people are what really matter. The moments that you share together and the connections that you make.
There are a lot of changes coming in 2015, and while I'm not ready for all of them, I know it will be part of this interesting journey I've been having. I've been finding that I regret the things I don't try much more than the ones that I do and don't like. So... one day at a time, and we'll see what life brings me!