Monday, 26 January 2015


There was a BDSM party in Henry's city this past weekend, and my parents were asking if they could spend some time with kiddo, so it happened to be good timing :) This was one of my favourite parties- lots of seating so you can watch other people playing, snacks and drinks available, and just plain awesome people. I always enjoy this one and apparently I'm not the only one since it sells out almost immediately after it gets posted!

This one also had some significance to me. I had been thinking for a while of giving Henry some kind of tangible symbol of our relationship. In the BDSM world, collars mean different things to different people. Some people believe they are like wedding rings, but obviously (at that time) that wasn't even something that occurred to me since I was already married. Some people put them on anytime they're dating someone new and kinky. Some people just plain like how they look and wear them as accessories. I love the lack of universality in the kink world, because things can be whatever you want them to be. Of course, in this case, I had to think about what it meant to me, and that isn't always easy to articulate.

I came to the conclusion that a collar means commitment to me, but again, defining that isn't easy. It doesn't mean that I want to get married, nor does it mean I want or expect an exclusive relationship. But I also don't want a collar to be a casual thing either. The best way I could describe how I was feeling was that it meant that I wanted Henry in my life, that I love him, and that I'm committed to what we have together. It's only been five months, but the connection between us is deep and solid. It's built on a foundation of trust and mutual respect and friendship. And when we're holding each other in bed, it just feels so right. And sometimes I think I measure the importance of time poorly. I mean, the average adult relationship from dating to engagement is about a year. And I can feel that we have something together that I haven't had with any of my other D/s relationships before.

I had originally planned to surprise him with it, but given all the upheaval in my life, I decided that wasn't the best way to handle it. I didn't want Henry to think that with Mark leaving, I was just trying to fill a hole. I didn't want him to think that my relationship with him was automatically now on the primary track, or that my motivation in giving it to him was anything else other than with the way I feel about him personally. I wanted him to feel comfortable declining if it wasn't what he was looking for. So when he came to stay with me after Mark left to give me support, I told him that I had already ordered one because our relationship means a lot to me, but I could understand if it made him feel uncomfortable because of the divorce. He just cuddled me close and told me no, it didn't make him feel uncomfortable. That gave me such a warm feeling to know that he was still going to be there for me. That our relationship is important to him, too. I really needed that.

He didn't know what it looked like or when, though. I designed a collar with a skilled leatherworker in a style I thought was flattering to him, but when I showed it to my friends they all smiled and said it was very much me :) That's important, too. I wanted it to reflect our relationship and not just be an off the rack accessory. It might just be a piece of leather, but one could say a wedding ring is just a piece of metal. I wanted it to be special.

We were cuddled up in bed just thinking of getting ready to go to the party, and I asked him what he was considering wearing. He asked me what I'd like, and then I handed him a box wrapped in pink tissue paper and told him that I'd like him to wear this for me. When he opened it, the smile on his face made me feel so good. I locked it around his neck and it made me feel so close to him. I had told him that I'd never given anyone else a collar before, that I'd never wanted to. Seeing him with it on, such a visible symbol of our relationship, made me so happy.

The party was wonderful. We were both on cloud nine for the whole evening. Friends noticed the collar and commented on it, and one mentioned to me that she could see how much he obviously adores me. I was so proud to have him wearing that symbol around people who understand at least generally what it means. I needed an intense play session, and I chained him to a St Andrew's cross and worked him over hard with my violet wand until thin red lines crisscrossed his body. Watching him squirm and moan and beg made my panties so wet that I couldn't wait to get back to his place after the party so that we could fuck.

I can never think straight after a party with him with a good play session. The energy between us is so intense that it just consumes rational thought. We were out of our clothes in seconds, kissing passionately while I was riding his hard cock. I was so wet that his cock slid inside me easily and felt so good. It wasn't long before I was cumming hard while he played with my clit. It was so good... so intimate and connected but I needed more. I wanted to get to that place where I orgasm so much that I can't think, but only enjoy the wonderful sensations coursing through my body. I climbed off and asked him to fist me. He smiled and lubed up his hand, and oh it felt SO amazing when my pussy swallowed his fist! Fortunately he'd remembered to put down a towel because when he started to rub my A spot and use his other fingers on my clit, I squirted all over the bed. I couldn't stop moaning and orgasming over and over because it was so good I didn't want him to stop. When I finally needed to tap out, we cuddled for a few minutes so I could come down from my post orgasmic haze, before I grabbed my Realdoe and harness and gave him what I knew he was waiting for. We've been doing ass play frequently because I know how much he enjoys it, but it had been a while since I gave him a good hard fuck and we both missed it. Much as he wanted to draw it out, he was too excited and came almost immediately when the head of my cock started rubbing against his prostate.

What a weekend. Such an intense emotional high, followed by a great play session and amazing (and messy!) sex. Falling asleep cuddled naked in each other's arms. He had sent me an article a few days ago about how couples who sleep naked and cuddled up are healthier and happier than those who don't. It's funny, but I never did with Mark; he never really was the cuddly type. For that matter, John had wanted to sleep with me like that and I just found it annoying and never wanted to with him. With Henry, if when we're in bed together I wake up his arms aren't around me, I miss it. Sometimes, things are just right. Can't wait to see him again.

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